趣味阅读：解码男人规则

　　We guys¹ always hear the rules from our women. Here are Our rules.

　　我们男人总是听女人制订的规则，而以下就是我们男人的规则。

　　1. Come to us with a problem² only if you want help solving³ it. That's what we do. Sympathy⁴ is what your girlfriends⁵ are for.

　　有困难时，除非你们需要人帮忙解决，否则不要来找我们。我们就是帮你解决问题的。如果为了博取同情，请去找你们的女朋友。

　　2. Christopher Columbus did⁶ not need directions⁷, and neither⁸ do we.

　　哥伦布不需要有人给他指点航行方向，我们也不需要。(我们男人开车的时候，你们女人最好不要乱指方向。)

　　3. You can either⁹ ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already¹¹ know best how to do it, just do it yourself¹².

　　你们女人可以请我们做事或者告诉我们该怎么做。但是你们不能在求我们做事的同时还要告诉我们该如何做。如果你们已经知道怎么做最好，那么就请你们自己做吧。

　　4. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act¹³ like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying¹⁴, but it is just not worth¹⁵ the hassle.

　　如果我们问你们怎么了，而你们说“没事”，那我们只能装作没事一样。我们不是不知道你们在说谎，只是觉得不值得为此小题大做而已。

　　5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect¹⁶ an answer you do not want to hear.

　　如果你们女人问我们一个不想知道答案的问题，那么请做好去听你不想听到的答案的心理准备。

　　6. If you think you are fat, you probably¹⁷ are. Do not ask us.

　　如果你们女人觉得自己胖，那么你大概就是胖。不要过来问我们。

　　7. Most guys own¹⁸ three pairs of shoes--tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would¹⁹ look good with your dress?

　　我们男人大多只拥有三双鞋——这很好。难道你们女人会以为我们男人善于从30双鞋子中挑出与你们的衣服相配的那一双吗?

　　8. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going²⁰ to think of it that way.

　　逛街购物不是做运动，永远都不是。男人永远不会将二者等同而看。

　　9. BEER is as¹⁰ exciting for us as handbags²¹ are for you.

　　啤酒之于我们就像手提包之于你们，会令人兴奋异常。

　　10. Thank you for reading²² this. Yes. I know, I have to sleep on the couch²³ tonight, but did you know, it's like camping²⁴.

　　谢谢你们女人看完上述条目。是的，我们知道今晚我们得睡沙发，但是你们知道么，睡沙发犹如露营，我们一点不在乎。

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