ETS6分GRE写作Issue部分范文欣赏

　　As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely?deteriorate³.

　　Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your?position.

　　Note:?All responses are reproduced exactly as written, including errors, misspellings, etc., if?any.

　　Essay Response — Score 6

　　The statement linking technology negatively with free thinking plays on recent human experience over the past century. Surely there has been no time in history where the lived lives of people have changed more dramatically. A quick reflection on a typical day reveals how technology has revolutionized the world. Most people commute⁴ to work in an automobile⁵ that runs on an internal combustion⁶ engine. During the workday, chances are high that the employee will interact with a computer that processes information on silicon⁷ bridges that are .09 microns wide. Upon leaving home, family members will be reached through wireless⁸ networks that utilize⁹ satellites orbiting the earth. Each of these common occurrences could have been inconceivable at the turn of the 19th?century.

　　The statement attempts to bridge these dramatic changes to a reduction in the ability for humans to think for themselves. The assumption is that an increased reliance on technology negates¹⁰ the need for people to think creatively to solve previous quandaries¹¹. Looking back at the introduction, one could argue that without a car, computer, or mobile phone, the hypothetical worker would need to find alternate methods of transport, information processing and communication. Technology short circuits this thinking by making the problems?obsolete¹².

　　However, this reliance on technology does not necessarily preclude¹³ the creativity that marks the human species. The prior examples reveal that technology allows for convenience. The car, computer and phone all release additional time for people to live more efficiently¹⁴. This efficiency does not preclude the need for humans to think for themselves. In fact, technology frees humanity to not only tackle new problems, but may itself create new issues that did not exist without technology. For example, the proliferation of automobiles¹⁵ has introduced a need for fuel conservation on a global scale. With increasing energy demands from emerging markets, global warming becomes a concern inconceivable to the horse-and-buggy generation. Likewise dependence¹⁶ on oil has created nation-states that are not dependent on taxation¹⁷, allowing ruling parties to oppress minority groups such as women. Solutions to these complex problems require the unfettered imaginations of maverick¹⁹ scientists and?politicians.

　　In contrast to the statement, we can even see how technology frees the human imagination. ?Consider how the digital revolution and the advent²⁰ of the internet has allowed for an unprecedented²¹ exchange of ideas. WebMD, a popular internet portal for medical information, permits patients to self research symptoms for a more informed doctor visit. This exercise opens pathways of thinking that were previously²² closed off to the medical layman²³. With increased interdisciplinary interactions, inspiration can arrive from the most surprising corners. Jeffrey Sachs, one of the architects of the UN Millenium Development Goals, based his ideas on emergency care triage techniques. The unlikely marriage of economics and medicine has healed tense, hyperinflation environments from South America to Eastern?Europe.

　　This last example provides the most hope in how technology actually provides hope to the future of humanity. By increasing our reliance on technology, impossible goals can now be achieved.? Consider how the late 20th century witnessed the complete elimination²⁴ of smallpox²⁵. This disease had ravaged²⁶ the human race since prehistorical days, and yet with the technology of vaccines²⁷, free thinking humans dared to imagine a world free of smallpox.? Using technology, battle plans were drawn²⁸ out, and smallpox was systematically²⁹ targeted and?eradicated³⁰.

　　Technology will always mark the human experience, from the discovery of fire to the implementation³¹ of nanotechnology. Given the history of the human race, there will be no limit to the number of problems, both new and old, for us to tackle. There is no need to retreat to a Luddite attitude to new things, but rather embrace a hopeful posture³² to the possibilities that technology provides for new avenues of human?imagination.

　　Reader Commentary for Essay Response — Score 6The author of this essay stakes out a clear and insightful position on the issue and follows the specific instructions by presenting reasons to support that position. The essay cogently³³ argues that technology does not decrease our ability to think for ourselves, but merely provides "additional time for people to live more efficiently." In fact, the problems that have developed alongside the growth of technology (pollution, political unrest in oil-producing nations) actually call for more creative thinking, not?less.

　　In further examples, the essay shows how technology allows for the linking of ideas that may never have been connected in the past (like medicine and economic models), pushing people to think in new ways. Examples are persuasive³⁴ and fully³⁵ developed; reasoning is logically sound and well?supported.

　　Ideas in the essay are connected logically, with effective transitions used both between paragraphs ("However" or "In contrast to the statement") and within paragraphs. Sentence structure is varied³⁶ and complex and the essay clearly demonstrates facility with the "conventions of standard written English (i.e., grammar, usage and mechanics)," with only minor¹⁸ errors appearing. Thus, this essay meets all the requirements for receiving a top score, a?6.

 

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