搞笑英语话剧--Don't Touch Me!

　　Vicky和Lisa是某餐馆的服务员，一天，一个顾客对Vicky....

　　人物

　　Allen

　　Jim

　　Kuki

　　Fenix

　　Vicky

　　Lisa

　　--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

　　Cast

　　1. Vicky︰a waitress at Monday’s restaurant. She is a hard working girl.

　　2. Lisa︰another waitress at Monday’s restaurant. She is a kind and naive¹ girl.

　　3. Fenix︰one of customers.  He’s a very ill-natured customer.

　　4. Allen and Tim︰customers at Monday’s restaurant. They’re good and decent men.

　　5. Kuki︰the boss of the restaurant.

　　Scene I

　　(One afternoon, there are many customers at the Monday’s restaurant.)

　　Vicky and Lisa talk and go to the kitchen, and then the boss, kuki, comes in, too.

　　Kuki:   Hey, there are many customers today. Girls, work hard. Remember, God

　　gives all things to industry.

　　Lisa:    Yeah. I know.

　　Vicky:   We will do our best.

　　The door opens now. Two men come in.

　　Kuki moves to the door.

　　Kuki:    May I help you, sir? Two people? Come with me, I will take you to the  table.

　　Allen:   Yes, pleases.

　　Tim:     I’m starving. I hope I can eat the best food in this restaurant right now.

　　Kuki:     (laughing)  Just a moment.

　　Two men walk in the restaurant. Lisa walks toward them.

　　Vicky:     This is the menu, sirs.

　　Allen＆Tim:  Thank you.

　　After a few minutes. Lisa and Vicky walk to the kitchen.

　　Lisa:     Hey, Vicky. I don’t like that customer. See, that man sits near the

　　door.

　　Vicky:    Why? Does he make any troubles for you?

　　Lisa:      I don’t know. I feel…….Oh, I just don’t like the way he looks at me.

　　Scene II

　　Vicky delivers a dish to the table where Allen and Tim sit.

　　Vicky:     (talks to herself) Lisa is right. The way that man looks at me makes me

　　uncomfortable.

　　Vicky delivers a dish again to Fenix’s table.

　　Vicky:     Here is your meal, sir. Enjoy it, please.

　　Vicky turns to the kitchen. At this moment, Fenix touches her back!

　　Vicky:     Wow~~~~ (she screams.)

　　Kuki:      (runs to Vicky) what happened?

　　Vicky:     He, he……He touched me!

　　Fenix:     No!! I didn’t.

　　Lisa:      You lie!! I see you did that. What I say is an absolute truth.

　　Other customers gather around them to see what is happening.

　　Kuki:     Well, seeing is believing, sir……

　　Fenix:     I feel humiliated². So, boss. You must solve this problem. Look at your

　　Waitress. They are such tricky³ women.

　　Kuki:     But, they say you did it……….Sir, I think…….

　　Fenix:     What? You mean I am a pervert⁴? Oh………Is this the way you serve your customers? You must give me an explanation today! Maybe giving me some money will make me forget it.

　　Lisa:      You are a shameless cheater, liar⁵.

　　The argument continues.

　　Scene III

　　Allen and Tim are angry for what they saw.

　　Allen:    I won’t tolerate your behavior anymore.

　　Tim:     That’s right. Come on, sir. It’s your fault. We all know that.

　　Fenix:     Hmn? You think so? But I don’t think so. I mean, if the boss and the

　　waitresses make an apology to me, I might leave early. Or I will stay and

　　make sure that no other customers walk inside the restaurant.

　　Kuki:      Oh……Don’t do that, please. Sir, you have to know it won’t do you

　　any good.

　　Fenix:      Yeah……it won’t do me any good unless you pay me some money for the humiliation⁶ you have caused me. You have disgraced me.

　　Tim:      Such a liar, I can’t believe it!!

　　Fenix:      Mind your own business.

　　Allen:     (Takes out his badge.)See.

　　Fenix:      Uh……

　　Allen:     I’m a police officer. Maybe you know what I’ll do with you.

　　Fenix turns to the door quickly.

　　Everybody in the restaurant all claps and cheers for Allen.

　　Lisa:       There is very few good people in our society. Many bad people bully⁷

　　the weak and fear the strong.

　　Tim:      Yeah…….but trust me, justice will win.

　　Kuki:       We are so lucky you are here. Thank you very much.

　　Allen:     You are welcome. It’s just my duty.

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