在线英语听力室

英语搞笑短剧剧本

时间:2014-03-13 12:41:47

(单词翻译:单击)

   焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)

  刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
  焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)
  刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)
  太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
  强盗burglars(abandc)
  prologue1 序幕
  (j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked2, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while mywife is wusong.
  译:人人都说我怕老婆,实际上我是老虎,(小声)我妻子是武松。
  (指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!
  译:我才不怕你呢!
  (内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender3 than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell4!
  译:谁怕谁啊!在邻里中,我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些,但是她却不懂温柔!有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊!
  (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
  my god! who can help me?(下)
  译:我的天!谁来救救我啊?
  act1 第一幕
  (序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
  jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
  (对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?
  l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ,mum?
  jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful5 and dearest mother in law”.
  l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
  jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,solazy……
  l:but……
  jm:never interrupt me!
  l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard alldaylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickenand……
  jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
  l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)act2
  (lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
  l:mum, i’m back!
  lm:you are back?why?what happened?
  l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
  lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted onmarrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listento me. look at yourself……
  l:but,mum……
  lm:never interrupt me!
  l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? andi’ll marry whomever you want me to.
  lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughterhaven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll goand tell him.(下)
  l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3
  (j睡眼惺忪上)
  j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
  (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
  (突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
  (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! nowshe has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
  jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?
  j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!
  jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an icegirl,go and take her back!
  j(立正敬礼):yes madam!
  act4
  (j开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)
  a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
  the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头,但踩到了a的脚)ab&c:give us all your money!
  j(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?
  (三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)
  a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
  b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
  c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go androb the wedding!
  a&b:good idea!
  j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!
  ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
  j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced6 yet!
  (突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll gowith you. you take the money and i take the bride.
  b:have you got any experience?
  j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000)act5
  (转眼已到了婚礼之期.ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(j和三强盗跃至台中)
  abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
  a:the road is built by me!
  b:and i planted one tree.
  c:if you want to go by this street---
  j:give us all your money!
  (l听到j的声音,掀起了盖头)
  l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒,挥拳向j打来.j矮身一躲,ms打中了j身后的l,l晕倒)j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!(挥拳向ms冲去)(j与ms混战,jm上,以拐杖击晕ms)
  (j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
  j(扶起l,关切地问):honey, how are you?
  l(哭状):i hurt a lot!
  j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)
 

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1 prologue mRpxq     
n.开场白,序言;开端,序幕
参考例句:
  • A poor wedding is a prologue to misery.不幸的婚姻是痛苦的开始。
  • The prologue to the novel is written in the form of a newspaper account.这本小说的序言是以报纸报道的形式写的。
2 pecked cb75871885065659e8eb5162b1e83586     
啄,啄食,小口地吃( peck的过去式和过去分词 ); 匆匆地吻
参考例句:
  • The hen pecked a hole in the sack. 母鸡在麻袋上啄了一个窟窿。
  • He pecked his aunt on the check. 他在姨妈的脸颊上匆匆吻了一下。
3 tender kgqyl     
adj.嫩的,柔软的;脆弱的,纤细的;温柔的
参考例句:
  • At the tender age of seventeen I left home.早在十七岁的小小年纪,我就离开了家。
  • We were sent to boarding school at a tender age.很小的时候我们就被送到了寄宿学校。
4 hell Tduzg     
n.地狱,阴间;用以咒骂或表示愤怒,不满
参考例句:
  • It's a hell of a hike from Sydney to Perth.从悉尼到珀斯的徒步旅行简直苦死了。
  • The boss really gave me hell today.老板今天着实数落了我一通。
5 graceful deHza     
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的
参考例句:
  • His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
  • The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。
6 divorced Wu5z2w     
adj.离婚的;分开的;不相干的;脱离的v.与…离婚(divorce的过去式和过去分词);分离;与某人离婚,判某人离婚
参考例句:
  • Apparently they are getting divorced soon. 看样子,他们很快就要离婚。
  • Many divorced men remarry and have second families. 许多离婚的男子再婚组成了新的家庭。