【荆棘鸟】第六章 02

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　　当梅吉见到她母亲的时候，她觉得心情很沉重；这也许是告别童年时代的一种神态，一种将要成为一个成熟的女子的征兆吧。除了肚子大些以外，菲的外表没有什么变化，但是，她的心却像是一只慢下来的疲惫不堪的旧钟，走得愈来愈慢，直到永远地静止下来。梅吉觉得永远不会在她妈妈身上衰竭的那股活泼劲儿已经一去不复返了。她刚抬起双脚，便又放了下来，好象无法肯定怎样举步似的，步态上表现出来的现象说明她精神上乱了套。对即将出生的婴儿，她没有喜悦之情，甚至对哈尔的那种极其含蓄的满足了情也不复再见了。

　　那红头发的小家伙蹒蹒跚跚地满屋子跑，一刻也不肯闲地摸东碰西，可菲却压根儿不打算惩戒他，甚至连他干什么事她都不管。他闷头在炉子、案板、洗碗槽这些永远属于她的那摊东西之间苦干着，好像除此之餐一切都不存在似的。于是，梅吉就别无选择了，她只有去填补那孩子生活中的空白，成了她的母亲。这是不必作出任何牺牲的，因为她非常爱他，觉得他孤弱无助，愿意将她打算全部慷慨奉献的爱都倾注给这个小家伙。他哭着要她，最先学会叫她的名字。他伸着胳膊要她抱：她心中充满了快乐，心满意足。尽管编织、补衣、缝纫、洗烫、喂鸡以及其他所有必须干的活儿都苦，但梅吉觉得她的日子过得非常愉快。

　　谁也未曾提起过弗兰克，但是，每隔六个星期，当菲听到邮政车来到的时候，都要翘首西望，流露出片刻的生气。然后，史密斯太太便会把大伙儿的邮件带来；当她看到里面没有弗兰克来的信时，那瞬间一现的、枉费苦心的关注便烟消云散了。

　　家里又添了两条新的生命。菲生了一对双胞胎，又给克利里家添了两个红头发的男孩儿，洗礼时命名为詹姆斯和帕特里克。这两个可爱的小家伙具备他们父亲那种开郎的气质和温和的脾气。他们刚一出生就成了毫不起眼的家庭成员，因为菲除了给他们喂奶之外，对他们毫无兴趣。

 

Up on the tops of the Great Divide three hundred miles to the east, snow lay thicker than in many years, but no rain had fallen west of Burren Junction¹ since the monsoonal² drenching³ of the previous summer. People in Gilly were speaking of another drought: it was overdue⁴, it must come, perhaps this would be it. When Meggie saw her mother, she felt as if an awful weight settled upon her being; maybe a leaving-behind of childhood, a presentiment⁵ of what it was to be a woman. Outwardly there was no change, aside from the big belly⁶; but inwardly Fee had slowed down like a tired old clock, running time down and down until it was forever stilled. The briskness⁷ Meggie had never known absent from her mother had gone. She picked her feet up and put them down again as if she was no longer sure of the right way to do it, a sort of spiritual fumbling⁸ got into her gait; and there was no joy in her for the coming baby, not even the rigidly⁹ controlled content she had shown over Hal. That little red-haired fellow was toddling¹⁰ all over the house, constantly into everything, but Fee made no attempt to discipline him, or even supervise his activities. She plodded¹¹ in her self-perpetuating circle of stove, worktable and sink as if nothing else existed. So Meggie had no choice; she simply filled the vacuum in the child's life and became his mother. It wasn't any sacrifice, for she loved him dearly and found him a helpless, willing target for all the love she was beginning to want to lavish¹² on some human creature. He cried for her, he spoke¹³ her name before all others, he lifted his arms to her to be picked up; it was so satisfying it filled her with joy. In spite of the drudgery¹⁴, the knitting and mending and sewing, the washing, the ironing, the hens, all the other jobs she had to do, Meggie found her life very pleasant.No one ever mentioned Frank, but every six weeks Fee would lift her head when she heard the mail call, and for a while be animated¹⁵. Then Mrs. Smith would bring in their share of whatever had come, and when it contained no letter from Frank the small burst of painful interest would die. There were two new lives in the house. Fee was delivered of twins, two more tiny red-haired Cleary boys, christened James and Patrick. The dearest little fellows, with their father's sunny disposition¹⁶ and his sweetness of nature, they became common property immediately they were born, for "beyond giving them milk Fee took no interest in them.

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