【荆棘鸟】第六章 03
时间：2017-03-10 05:36:30
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不久，他们的名字便被简化成了詹斯和帕西。他们俩是大宅那边妇女们--两个老处女和孀居无子的女管家--的宠儿；她们对婴儿宠爱得要命。这就使菲轻而易举地将他们忘却了，因为他们有三个意切情深的母亲--随着时间的流逝一他们醒着的时候大都是在大宅那边消磨的，这已成了公认的事实了。梅吉在对付哈尔的同时，没有时间把他们揽在身边，哈尔太让人费神了，史密斯太太、明妮和凯特那笨手笨脚、毫无经验的讨好不对他的劲儿。梅吉是他的生活中充满慈爱的中心，除了梅吉他谁都不想要，除了梅吉他谁也不要。
布鲁伊·威廉姆斯用他那一套可爱的马和那辆大而重的马车换了一辆卡车，于是邮件便成了四个星期来一趟，而不是六个星期来一趟了；可是，弗兰克连一个字儿也没寄来过。渐渐地，有关他的回忆变得十分淡漠了；回忆就是这样的：即使是那些充满深情厚爱的回忆也概莫能外，好像脑子里有一种无意识的愈合过程，尽管我们曾痛下决心永勿忘，但它依然能使创伤弥合。以梅吉来说，弗兰克的形象已经从影影绰绰的可敬的面容，变成了某种圣像；这模糊的圣像和真正的弗兰克毫无关系，而是一个想当然是弗兰克的圣像。梅吉的拳拳追思就是这么淡漠下去的。而对菲来说，对弗兰克的思念已经被一种深不可及的缄默所代替；她的热情全熄。犹如死水，再也泛不起涟漪了。
这变化悄然而至，谁都没有发觉。菲是在毫不动声色的沉默中垮下来的；她内心的东西，除了那个她暗中注以钟爱的新对象之外，谁都没有机会得以窥见这内心的世界。这是深藏在他们之间的一种不可言传的东西，是某种使他们的孤独得以缓解的东西。
也许这是势不可免的，因为在她所有的孩子中只有斯图尔特像她。他才14岁。便像弗兰克那样成了他父亲和兄弟们所完全不能理解的人。但他与弗兰克不一样，他并没有造成相互间的敌视。他毫无怨言地按吩咐行事。像别人一样地苦干，根本没有在克利里家的生活中掀起任何波澜。虽然他的头发是红色的，但是他的肤色在男孩子中间最深，比他们都要显得赤褐，他的眼睛就像背阴处那湖泊的水一样清澈，仿佛这双眼睛能看到事情最初始的阶段，看透一切事物的真相。他是帕迪儿子中唯一的一个被认为成年之后会相貌出众的人，尽管梅吉私下认为她的哈尔长大之后一定能超过他
Soon their names were shortened to Jims and Patsy; they were prime favorites with the women up at the big house, the two spinster maids and the widowed childless
housekeeper1, who were starved for the deliciousness of babies. It was made magically easy for Fee to forget them-they had three very eager mothers-and as time went on it became the accepted thing that they should spend most of their waking hours up at the big house. Meggie just didn't have time to take them under her wing as well as managing Hal, who was extremely possessive. Not for him the awkward, unpracticed blandishments of Mrs. Smith, Minnie and Cat. Meggie was the loving
nucleus2 of Hal's world; he wanted no one but Meggie, he would have no one but Meggie.
Bluey Williams traded in his lovely draft horses and his massive dray for a truck and the mail came every four weeks instead of every six, but there was never a word from Frank. And gradually his memory slipped a little, as memories do, even those with so much love attached to them; as if there is an unconscious healing process within the mind which mends up in spite of our desperate determination never to forget. To Meggie, an aching fading of the way Frank had looked, a
blurring3 of the beloved lineaments to some fuzzy, saintlike image no more related to the real Frank than a holy picture Christ to what must have been the Man. And to Fee, from out of those silent depths in which she had stilled the evolution of her soul, a substitution. It came about so unobtrusively that no one noticed. For Fee kept herself folded up with quietness, and a total undemonstrativeness; the substitution was an inner thing no one had time to see, except the new object of her love, who made no outward sign. It was a hidden, unspoken thing between them, something to
buffer4 their loneliness.
Perhaps it was
inevitable5, for of all her children Stuart was the only one like her. At fourteen he was as big a mystery to his father and brothers as Frank had been, but unlike Frank he
engendered6 no
hostility7, no
irritation8. He did as he was told without complaint, worked as hard as anyone and created absolutely no
ripples9 in the pool of Cleary life. Though his hair was red he was the darkest of all the boys, more mahogany, and his eyes were as clear as pale water in the shade, as if they reached all the way back in time to the very beginning, and saw everything as it really was. He was also the only one of Paddy's sons who promised adult handsomeness, though
privately10 Meggie thought her Hal would outshine him when it came his turn to grow up.
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