【荆棘鸟】第六章 22
时间：2017-03-10 06:28:03
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（单词翻译）
That's what I'm here for, that's why I'm a priest. I am Our Lord's chosen representative here on earth, I listen on His behalf, I even forgive on His behalf. And, wee Meggie, there is nothing in God's universe He and I cannot find it in our hearts to forgive. You must tell me what the matter is, my love, because if anyone can help you, 1 c. As long as I live I'll try to help you, watch over you. If you like, a sort of
guardian1 angel, better by far than that
chunk2 of marble above your head." He took a breath and leaned forward. "Meggie, if you love me, tell me!"
Her hands gripped one another. "Father, I'm dying! I've got cancer!" First came a wild desire to laugh, a great surge of uproarious
anticlimax3; then he looked at the thin blue skin, the wasting of her little arms, and there came an awful
longing4 to weep and cry, scream of its unfairness to the roof of heaven. No, Meggie wouldn't imagine this out of nothing; there had to be a
valid5 reason.
"How do you know, dear heart?"
It took her a long time to say it, and when she did he had to bend his head right down to her lips in an unconscious
parody6 of the confessional pose, hand
shielding his face from her eyes, finely modeled ear presented for the sullying.
"It's six months, Father, since it started. I get the most awful pains in my tummy, but not like a
bilious7 attack, and-oh, Father!-a lot of blood runs out of my bottom!"
His head reared back, something which had never happened inside the confessional; he stared down at her shamed
bent8 head with so many emotions assaulting him that he could not marshal his wits. An absurd, delicious relief; an anger at Fee so great he wanted to kill her;
awed9 admiration10 for such a little thing as her, to bear so much so well; and a ghastly, all-pervasive
embarrassment11.
He was as much a prisoner of the times as she was. The cheap girls in every town he had known from Dublin to Gillanbone would
deliberately12 come into the confessional to whisper their fantasies to him as actual happenings, concerned with the only
facet13 of him which interested them, his manhood, and not willing to admit it lay beyond their power to arouse it. They muttered of men violating every orifice, of
illicit14 games with other girls, of
lust15 and adultery, one or two of superior imagination even going so far as to detail sexual relations with a priest. And he would listen totally unmoved save for a sick contempt,
这就是我为什么坐地这里的缘故。这就是我为什么当教士的缘故。我是上帝选派在这个地方的代表，我代表他去倾听申述，我代表他去给予宽恕。小梅吉，在上帝的天地里，他和我还没有发现我们心中有任何事情不可宽恕呢。我的宝贝儿，你必须告诉我出了什么事，因为假使有什么人能够帮助你的话，那么就是我。只要我活着，我就会竭尽全力帮助你，守卫着你。如果你愿意，你可以把我当作守护神，我可比你头上的那个大理石块要强得多啊。"他吸了一口气，往后一靠。"梅吉，如果你爱我的话，就告诉我！"
她一只手紧握着另一只手："神父，我要死了，我得癌症了！"
他起先憋不住想纵声大笑，这简直是虎头蛇尾，一场可笑的虚惊；后来，他看到她那发青的细嫩的皮肤，看到她那消瘦的小胳臂，又觉得很想痛哭一场，为事情的不公平而痛哭一场。不，梅吉不会毫无理由胡思乱想的，其中必有道理。
"你怎么知道的，宝贝儿？"
为了说明这件事，她费了半天时间。在她讲的时候，他不得不低下头凑到她的唇边，不知不觉地做出了一种拙劣的听取忏海的姿势：一只手挡着自己的眼睛不去看她的脸，伸出他的耳朵去听不光彩的事。
"从开始到现在已经有六个月了，神父。我的肚子疼极了，可是和动肝火的疼不一样，而且--哦，神父！--从我的下边还流出了好多好多的血呢！"
他的头一扬，这忏悔里根本没有什么了不起的东西；他低头望着她那含羞低下的头，心中象打翻了五味瓶，脑子里乱糟糟的。他感到一种既荒谬又宽慰，一种恨不得把菲杀死才解恨的愤怒。这样一个孩子居然能不动声色地把这样的大事压在心里，使他既感到钦佩，又感到全身的不自在。
他和她一样，都是时代的俘虏。从达布林到基兰博，在他所知道的每个城镇，那些轻贱的姑娘们要是真碰上哪怕是一件能引起他对她们兴趣的小事，都会故意跑来哭着忏悔一边的。她们谪谪咕咕地抱怨男人不放过任何玷污女人的空子，抱怨其他姑娘所搞的一些不正当的把戏。除了感到厌恶和轻蔑之外，他能不动声色地听着。
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