月亮和六便士 第四十八章(1)

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It is here that I purposed to end my book. 这本书我本来准备就写到这里为止。

My first idea was to begin it with the account of Strickland's last years in Tahiti and with his horrible death, 我最初的计划是首先叙述一下思特里克兰德一生中最后几年是怎样在塔希提度过的，以及他悲惨的死亡，

and then to go back and relate what I knew of his beginnings. 然后再回头来描写我所了解的他早年的生活。

This I meant to do, not from wilfulness¹, 我预备这样做倒不是由于我的任性，

but because I wished to leave Strickland setting out with I know not what fancies in his lonely soul for the unknown islands which fired his imagination. 而是因为想把思特里克兰德启程远航作为这本书的收尾；他那孤独的灵魂中怀着种种奇思遐想，终于向点燃起自己丰富想象的陌生的荒岛出发了。

I liked the picture of him starting at the age of forty-seven, when most men have already settled comfortably in a groove², for a new world. 我喜欢这样一个画面：他活到四十七岁（到了这个年纪大多数人早已掉进舒适的生活沟槽里了）动身到天涯海角去寻找一个新世界；

I saw him, the sea gray under the mistral and foam-flecked, watching the vanishing coast of France, which he was destined³ never to see again; 大海在凛冽的北风中一片灰蒙蒙，白沫四溅，他迷茫地盯视着逐渐消失、再也无法重见的法国海岸。

and I thought there was something gallant⁴ in his bearing and dauntless in his soul. 我想他的这一行为含有某种豪迈的精神，他的灵魂里具有大无畏的勇气。

I wished so to end on a note of hope. 我本来想让这本书结束的时候给人一线希望。

It seemed to emphasise⁵ the unconquerable spirit of man. 我觉得这样也许能够突出思特里克兰德的不可征服的精神。

But I could not manage it. 但是我却写不好；

Somehow I could not get into my story, and after trying once or twice I had to give it up; 不知为什么我不能把这些写下来，在试了一两次之后我还是放弃这样一个结构了。

I started from the beginning in the usual way, and made up my mind I could only tell what I knew of Strickland's life in the order in which I learnt the facts. 我走的还是老路子——从头儿开始。我决定按照我了解到的事实以先后顺序记叙我所知道的思特里克兰德的生平。

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