月亮和六便士 第五十章(5)

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"What do you mean by that?" “我不懂你说的是什么意思？”

"Well, do you remember Abraham? He was the man who had the future. “不懂？你还记得阿伯拉罕吧？应该飞黄腾达的本该是他。

When we were students he beat me all along the line. 做学生的时候，他处处把我打得惨败。

He got the prizes and the scholarships that I went in for. 奖金也好，助学金也好，都被他从我手里夺去；

I always played second fiddle¹ to him. 哪次我都甘拜下风。

If he'd kept on he'd be in the position I'm in now. 如果他这样继续下去，我现在的地位就是他的了。

That man had a genius for surgery. No one had a look in with him. 他对于外科手术简直是个天才。谁也无法同他竞争。

When he was appointed Registrar² at Thomas's I hadn't a chance of getting on the staff. 当他被指派为圣·托玛斯附属医学院注册员的时候，我是绝对没有希望进入领导机构的。

I should have had to become a G.P., and you know what likelihood there is for a G.P. ever to get out of the common rut. 我只能开业当个医生，你也知道，一个普通开业行医的人有多大可能跳出这个槽槽去。

But Abraham fell out, and I got the job. 但是阿伯拉罕却让位了，他的位子让我弄到手了。

That gave me my opportunity." 这样就给了我步步高升的机会了。”

"I dare say that's true." “我想你说的话是真的。”

"It was just luck. “这完全是运气。

I suppose there was some kink in Abraham. 我想，阿伯拉罕这人心理一定变态了。

Poor devil, he's gone to the dogs altogether. 这个可怜虫，一点儿救也没有了。

He's got some twopenny-halfpenny job in the medical at Alexandria—sanitary officer or something like that. 他在亚历山大港卫生部门找了个小差事——检疫员什么的。

I'm told he lives with an ugly old Greek woman and has half a dozen scrofulous kids. 有人告诉我，他同一个丑陋的希腊老婆子住在一起，生了半打长着瘰疬疙瘩的小崽子。

The fact is, I suppose, that it's not enough to have brains. The thing that counts is character. 所以我想，问题不在于一个人脑子聪明不聪明，真正重要的是要有个性。

Abraham hadn't got character." 阿伯拉罕缺少的正是个性。”

Character? 个性？

I should have thought it needed a good deal of character to throw up a career after half an hour's meditation³, 在我看来，一个人只经过半小时的考虑就甘愿抛弃一生的事业前途，这才需要很强的个性呢。

because you saw in another way of living a more intense significance. 因为他看到另外一种生活方式更有重大的意义，

And it required still more character never to regret the sudden step. 贸然走出这一步，以后永不后悔，那需要的个性就更多了。

But I said nothing, and Alec Carmichael proceeded reflectively: 但是我什么也没说。阿莱克·卡尔米凯尔继续沉思着说：

"Of course it would be hypocritical for me to pretend that I regret what Abraham did. After all, I've scored by it." “当然了，如果我对阿伯拉罕的行径故作遗憾，我这人也就太虚伪了。不管怎么说，正因为他走了这么一步，才让我占了便宜。”

He puffed⁴ luxuriously⁵ at the long Corona⁶ he was smoking. 他吸着一支长长的寇罗纳牌哈瓦那雪茄烟，舒适地喷着烟圈。

"But if I weren't personally concerned I should be sorry at the waste. “但是如果这件事同我个人没有牵连的话，我是会为他虚掷才华感到可惜的。

It seems a rotten thing that a man should make such a hash of life." 一个人竟这样糟蹋自己实在太令人心痛了。”

I wondered if Abraham really had made a hash of life. 我很怀疑，阿伯拉罕是否真的糟蹋了自己。

Is to do what you most want, to live under the conditions that please you, in peace with yourself, to make a hash of life; 做自己最想做的事，生活在自己喜爱的环境里，淡泊宁静、与世无争，这难道是糟蹋自己吗？

and is it success to be an eminent⁷ surgeon with ten thousand a year and a beautiful wife? 与此相反，做一个着名的外科医生，年薪一万镑，娶一位美丽的妻子，就是成功吗？

I suppose it depends on what meaning you attach to life, the claim which you acknowledge to society, and the claim of the individual. 我想，这一切都取决于一个人如何看待生活的意义，取决于他认为对社会应尽什么义务，对自己有什么要求。

But again I held my tongue, for who am I to argue with a knight⁸? 但是我还是没有说什么；我有什么资格同一位爵士争辩呢？

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