生活大爆炸第八季 第3期:很亲密

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I just want to pop in and make sure Ma's okay. 我想经过我妈家，看看她好不好。

I thought Stuart was looking after her. 斯图尔特不是在照顾她吗。

He was, but now that her cast is off, he moved out. 本来是，我妈石膏拆了后，他就搬了。

And honestly, I'm kind of glad. 老实说，我挺高兴的。

It was getting a little weird¹. 他们俩后来有点怪怪的。

How so? 怎么怪？

I don't know, they're...chummy. 我不会说，他们...很亲密。

Like us? 像我们这样吗？

No, not like us. 不，跟我们不一样。

Creepy chummy, like you and your dog. 是恶心的那种亲密，就像你和你的狗。

She feeds him out of her own mouth? 你妈妈亲自用嘴给他喂食吗？

I mean, he calls her Debbie, she calls him Stewie and they're all giggly² around each other. 我是说，他叫我妈黛比，我妈叫他图仔，他们整天两个人黏一起傻笑。

And believe me, when food goes in that mouth, it does not come out. 相信我，任何食物只要一到我妈嘴里就只进不出了。

So are you worried because he's replacing you as a son or are you worried because he's becoming her lover? 所以你是担心他要取代你儿子的位置，还是担心他会成为你妈妈的情人？

First of all, no one can replace me as a son. 首先，没人能取代我儿子的位置。

I'm her little matzo ball. 我是我妈的宝贝小汤丸。

And secondly³, my mother is well past having any kind of sex life. 其次，我妈这么大年纪早就跟性生活无缘了。

Okay, okay. Although many older women lead vibrant⁴, active...I said well past it! 好吧。其实有很多老年女性仍过着活力四射的...我说无缘就是无缘！

Excuse me, Officer Hernandez? Any leads on the person who stole my belongings⁵? 请问一下，赫尔南德斯警官？有任何偷我东西的贼的线索了吗？

Not yet. 还没。

Well, perhaps I can help. 或许我可以帮忙。

Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains⁶, however improbable, must be the truth. 神探福尔摩斯曾说过排除所有不可能因素，剩下的即使再不合理必然是事实的真相。

Now, havehave you tried doing that? 你试过这么做吗？

Nope. 没有。

Well, maybe you should. 或许你该试试。

ThThThere's lots of books called "Sherlock Holmes" and there's no books called "Officer Hernandez." 世上有很多叫《神探福尔摩斯》的书，而却没有一本叫《神警赫尔南德斯》。

Thanks again for coming. Six hours was gonna be a long drive by myself. 谢谢你来陪我。我一个人开六个小时的车实在太漫长了。

My pleasure. 我的荣幸。

And I'm not angry at all that my boyfriend was in trouble and called you instead of me. I love that! 而且我一点也不气我男朋友落难时，居然打给你而不是我。真是太好了！

Yeah, time's gonna fly by. 好吧，这六小时一定过得"飞快"。

 

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