精美英文欣赏:怪诞的语言

（单词翻译）

Let's face it: English is a stupid language.

不要怀疑：英语是一种愚蠢的语言。

There is no egg in the eggplant,no ham in the hamburger,and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.English muffins were not invented in England;and French fries had nothing to do with France.

茄子里没有鸡蛋，汉堡里也没有火腿，在凤梨即没有松木也没有苹果。英国松饼不是在英国发明的；而炸薯条与法国一点关联都没有。

We sometimes take English for granted,but if we examine its paradoxes¹ we find that quicksnad takes you down slowly,boxing rings are square,and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

我们有时候习惯的以为英语就是这样说的，但如果我们探讨它似是而非的地方，我们会发现流沙是让你慢慢陷下去的，拳击场是方型的，而天竹鼠既不是来自几内亚，更不是猪。

You have to marvel² at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,in which you fill in a form by filling it out,and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

你不是不惊讶于这种独特的疯癫语言，比如说你的房子被烧毁时，它是烧起来的，当你填表之时，是要填写出的，而闹钟响起来（go off）是因为它自己启动了（go on）。

English was invented by people,not computers,and it reflects the creativity³ of the human race(Which of course isn't a race at all).That is why when the stars are out they are visible,but when the lights are out they are invisible⁴.And why is it that when I wind up my watch is starts but when I wind up this story it ends!

英语是由人而不是由电脑发明的，它反应的是人类的创造力（那当然根本就不是一种竞赛）。那就难怪当星星出来（out）时是看得见的，但是灯光减了（out）时是看不见的。为什么我给我的手表上紧发条时它就开始走了，而当我完结了这个故事时它结束了。