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雅思五分作文-mother’s and father’s role in a family

时间:2010-05-14 02:56:26

(单词翻译:单击)

The boys are most influenced by their fathers and girls are most influenced by their mothers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion.


It is true that nowadays parent have a great influence over the children. Some people hold the opinion that the same sex is the major determinations of influencing parent, but others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I agree that boys are most influenced by their fathers and girls are most influenced by their mothers. My arguments for this point are listed below.
First of all, father is the person who passed that ways which are his son is passing now, in the other words, sons are stepping in a trace which fathers had driven them. So, based on experience it is easy for father to notice sons’ drawbacks and influence them.
Secondly1, it is true that a boy is countedas a strong characteristics human , but a girl is subtle and fragile one. It is hard for mothers to influence their sons, because it is unbelievable that vulnerable something can affect a strong one.
In conclusion, it seems to me unfair that boys are most influenced by their mothers. Based on at least two points which are above I strongly agree that children are influenced by a parent of the same gender2.

教师评价
This essay is too short, 190 words instead of the minimum requirement of 250. It doesn’t say anything about girls being influenced by their mothers, which is also a part of the task – therefore the task is only partially3 covered. The sentences are not complex enough, there are grammatical mistakes and language inaccuracies (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, looks like a Band 5.5 essay

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1 secondly cjazXx     
adv.第二,其次
参考例句:
  • Secondly,use your own head and present your point of view.第二,动脑筋提出自己的见解。
  • Secondly it is necessary to define the applied load.其次,需要确定所作用的载荷。
2 gender slSyD     
n.(生理上的)性,(名词、代词等的)性
参考例句:
  • French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法语不同于英语,所有的名词都有性。
  • Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.妇女有时仅仅因为性别而无法获得种种机会。
3 partially yL7xm     
adv.部分地,从某些方面讲
参考例句:
  • The door was partially concealed by the drapes.门有一部分被门帘遮住了。
  • The police managed to restore calm and the curfew was partially lifted.警方设法恢复了平静,宵禁部分解除。