伍迪单口相声精选 第2期:拉斯维加斯Vegas

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　　除了我的伏特加广告，我还第一次去了拉斯维加斯玩。

　　You see I'm not a gambler, you should know that about me. I went to the racetrack once in my life and I bet on a horse called Battle Gun, and when allthe horses come out, mine is the only horse in the race with training wheels.

　　你看我根本不会赌博，你们应该了解我。我曾经去过一次跑马场，我把赌注押在了一匹名叫“战炮”的马身上，当马儿们都亮相后，我的那匹是场中唯一安着一对辅助轮的马。

　　You have to believe me when I say, that there is something seductive about me, when I shoot crap.

　　你们得相信我，我说我掷骰子（又有“吹牛”和“拉屎”的意思。）时还是相当富有魅力的。

　　And I'm at the crap table, I'm...dicing¹.

　　我在赌桌旁坐了下来，我投出骰子。

　　A very provocative² woman comes up to me, and she begins to...size me up...and I take her upstairs to my hotel room.

　　这时有个非常撩人的女人朝我走了过来，她开始上下打量我，我领她来到楼上我旅馆房间。

　　Shut the door. Remove my glasses. Show her no mercy.

　　关上房门，摘掉眼镜，对她肆无忌惮地表现着。

　　I unbutton my shirt, and she unbuttons her shirt. And I smile. She smiles.

　　我解开我的衬衣纽扣；她也解开她的衬衣纽扣。我微笑；她也微笑。

　　I remove my shirt and she removes her shirt. And I wink³ and she winks⁴.

　　我脱掉我的衬衣；她也脱掉她的衬衣。我眨眼；她也眨眼。

　　And I remove my pants. She removes her pants. And I realize I'm looking into a mirror.

　　我脱掉裤子，她也脱掉裤子。我意识到我看着的是一面镜子。

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