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美国国家公共电台 NPR When Dating Felt Like A Job, One Woman Hired A Matchmaker

时间:2018-01-29 01:48:58

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DAVID GREENE, HOST:

And we have an update now on a series we have been doing all this month. It is about online dating. And Rachel, I know that's something you know a thing or two about.

RACHEL MARTIN, HOST:

Little bit - it's true. I met my husband online in 2009 - way back in the olden days (laughter).

GREENE: Not so far back, 2009. But, you know, things have changed since then. Online dating has become a lot more common.

MARTIN: Right.

GREENE: I was stunned1 by this number. Some 100 million people have downloaded the Tinder app. But, you know, this whole thing can be pretty frustrating2.

MARTIN: Totally. I mean, I was in the trenches3, man. And it can be hard and disheartening. There are all kinds of profile pictures. We've heard about that. It's not really what the people look like. And then there's just, you know, disaster dates and people who don't show up - whatever. There are a lot of horror stories, but it can work out.

GREENE: Yeah. But you're not alone with the horror stories. People are exhausted4. They're discouraged by the process. And that was the case for Kat McClain.

KAT MCCLAIN: I was going out a lot. I was getting burnt out. I was bored. It felt like another job, and I definitely don't need another job. I work enough (laughter).

GREENE: So Kat's a 26-year-old attorney here in LA. She describes herself as this meticulous5 planner. She's a former gymnast She's a die-hard sports fan, and she's also a longtime user of those dating apps.

MCCLAIN: But I was feeling like there was something wrong with me. You know, I was the only person that I knew who wasn't in a successful relationship. And everyone around me was making it work. And I was like, what am I doing wrong? Like, why? Why does this keep happening to me?

GREENE: So she decided6 that she was going to enlist7 some help. She hired a matchmaker.

MARTIN: A matchmaker? Like, "Fiddler On The Roof" - like a yenta matchmaker?

GREENE: I mean, not exactly. But she went to a company. It's called Three Day Rule. And let's tag along for her journey. And this journey is going to include a first date - we'll get to that a bit later - but first, a little bit more about Three Day Rule.

TALIA GOLDSTEIN: So when I started the company, actually it was just a blog. And I took the name from "Swingers," the movie. It's this old stupid rule that guys used to wait three days to call a girl after getting her number.

GREENE: So I was sitting talking to Talia Goldstein - she's the founder8 of Three Day Rule - and she says that the rules for finding a date have totally changed. We were talking at the company's high-rise office in LA.

GOLDSTEIN: We find matches in all different ways. If our client is interested in a corporate9 guy, we're crashing real estate conferences and medical conferences.

GREENE: They have a database also of 90,000 single people. And of course, all of that access does not come cheap.

MCCLAIN: Six thousand?

MARTIN: Six thousand bucks10?

GREENE: Six thousand dollars.

MARTIN: Whoa.

GREENE: That was Kat there. Yeah, she was telling you how much she pays to use this service, Three Day Rule. And from that money, what you get is you get 6 dates over a six-month period. And you also get this personalized matchmaker.

MCCLAIN: I was really at ease. Like, one of the first things I noticed was just how easy it was to talk to her.

GREENE: So Kat's talking about her matchmaker, Alexa Geistman. And when I met up with the two of them in the company's conference room, Alexa had already spent a couple of months just getting to know Kat.

ALEXA GEISTMAN: We have a very close relationship. So we do talk quite a bit, a few times a week.

MCCLAIN: Having someone like Alexa around to keep me positive and centered and grounded has been - I mean, life-changing sounds so dramatic but life-changing.

GREENE: Kat was looking for a relationship. And so Alexa told her to search on all fronts, including dating apps.

MCCLAIN: I also changed all of my profiles from bottom to top - the pictures, the bio, the, like, what-are-you-looking-for section. So it's been a really different dating app experience.

MARTIN: So then, Kat does this whole, like, overhaul11 of her profile. And what happened? Did it work for her?

GREENE: I mean, it kind of worked. She didn't have a single bad date with an online match after that.

MCCLAIN: I would say that I'm a better online dater for having done this. And I am just - I'm better at picking people. I'm better at presenting myself accurately12.

GREENE: So she meets the love of her life on a totally different site - you're not going to feel like that was somehow a failure?

GEISTMAN: Absolutely not. I mean, I might attribute some of the success to me because I've really helped her become an even better dater.

GREENE: But she still hadn't found anyone serious yet.

GEISTMAN: I think she needs someone with a quiet confidence that shares the same values as her.

GREENE: All right. And that is where Kevin comes in. He was a guy in Three Day Rules' database. Alexa had introduced him to Kat over email, and they were getting ready to go out that night.

How are you feeling about tonight?

MCCLAIN: I'm excited. So my goals for tonight are, like, drink slow, ask questions, do not put on a show. Like, don't start your, like, Kat stand-up routine. Because I do have this, like, habit of just starting to tell rapid-fire, self-deprecating jokes when I get nervous.

GREENE: So Kat met Kevin at this restaurant in LA. Both of them were clearly a little nervous at the beginning.

KEVIN BIELY: Kat?

MCCLAIN: Yes. Hi. Sorry.

GREENE: And Rachel, it probably did not help that we had put microphones on the table (laughter).

MARTIN: Right, no pressure.

GREENE: Yeah, no pressure. But they were really good sports.

MCCLAIN: I bet you at least a few people here think we're famous.

BIELY: Exactly. Right?

MCCLAIN: So...

BIELY: Someone's, like, Googling me. Like...

GREENE: All right, a little awkward at the beginning - but the conversation got going, and it was constant. And you could really hear the chemistry. They learned they had similar upbringings....

BIELY: So I grew up with a military family, so we bounced around a little bit when I was young.

MCCLAIN: Yeah, yeah. I am also a military brat13.

BIELY: Oh, nice.

GREENE: ...Also a similar sense of humor about who their ideal partner might be.

BIELY: If she's got a job and she chews with her mouth closed, that's like 90th percentile right there.

MCCLAIN: That's sounds stunningly14 like my criteria15.

GREENE: Oh, my God. I'm, like, uncomfortable listening to their first date.

MARTIN: I know. Me, too. First date (groaning).

GREENE: It's so uncomfortable. But it went well. They talked so long they actually closed out the restaurant - after dessert, of course.

MCCLAIN: I could do the sundae.

BIELY: Awesome16.

MCCLAIN: Half the sundae.

BIELY: Half the sundae. Half a sundae?

MCCLAIN: Yeah.

BIELY: What will we do with the other half?

MCCLAIN: You should have the other half.

BIELY: Maybe I'll have it. OK. Fair enough.

MCCLAIN: (Laughter).

(SOUNDBITE OF PHONE RINGING)

GREENE: OK. So about a month and a half after that first date, I caught up with Kat on the phone.

MCCLAIN: Hello.

GREENE: Hey, Kat.

MCCLAIN: Hey.

GREENE: So how are things going?

MCCLAIN: Things are really great. Literally17 just a couple of days ago, we had to define-the-relationship conversation. So...

GREENE: Whoa. Kat says even though her Three Day Rule experience with this company made this possible, none of the rules seemed to matter anymore.

MCCLAIN: It didn't matter that we talked about marriage on the first date. And it didn't matter that I told a bunch of stupid jokes. And it didn't matter who texted who first afterwards. None of that stuff is important. Sometimes stuff just works.

MARTIN: So it worked for her, huh?

GREENE: It did work out for her. And - I mean, she said sometimes stuff just works. So yeah, she deleted her dating apps. Now she and Kevin Biely are dating exclusively. It was really nice to hear that.

MARTIN: Yeah, but she paid a ton of money. Does she have any regrets about that?

GREENE: She did pay a ton of money. And she said that she doesn't regret that at all because - I mean, this company brought her to Kevin. And it also - she said the coaching gave her this better overall outlook on dating. And Kat said not everyone needs to hire a matchmaker. You don't have to go out and spend this money. You can. It can help. But at the end of the day, no matter what you do, it really still comes down to chemistry.

(SOUNDBITE OF FILM, "FIDDLER ON THE ROOF")

NEVA SMALL: (As Chava, singing) Matchmaker, matchmaker, I'll bring the veil.


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点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 stunned 735ec6d53723be15b1737edd89183ec2     
adj. 震惊的,惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • The fall stunned me for a moment. 那一下摔得我昏迷了片刻。
  • The leaders of the Kopper Company were then stunned speechless. 科伯公司的领导们当时被惊得目瞪口呆。
2 frustrating is9z54     
adj.产生挫折的,使人沮丧的,令人泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的现在分词 );挫败;使受挫折;令人沮丧
参考例句:
  • It's frustrating to have to wait so long. 要等这么长时间,真令人懊恼。
  • It was a demeaning and ultimately frustrating experience. 那是一次有失颜面并且令人沮丧至极的经历。 来自《简明英汉词典》
3 trenches ed0fcecda36d9eed25f5db569f03502d     
深沟,地沟( trench的名词复数 ); 战壕
参考例句:
  • life in the trenches 第一次世界大战期间的战壕生活
  • The troops stormed the enemy's trenches and fanned out across the fields. 部队猛攻敌人的战壕,并在田野上呈扇形散开。
4 exhausted 7taz4r     
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的
参考例句:
  • It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长,到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
  • Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
5 meticulous A7TzJ     
adj.极其仔细的,一丝不苟的
参考例句:
  • We'll have to handle the matter with meticulous care.这事一点不能含糊。
  • She is meticulous in her presentation of facts.她介绍事实十分详细。
6 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
7 enlist npCxX     
vt.谋取(支持等),赢得;征募;vi.入伍
参考例句:
  • They come here to enlist men for the army.他们来这儿是为了召兵。
  • The conference will make further efforts to enlist the support of the international community for their just struggle. 会议必将进一步动员国际社会,支持他们的正义斗争。
8 Founder wigxF     
n.创始者,缔造者
参考例句:
  • He was extolled as the founder of their Florentine school.他被称颂为佛罗伦萨画派的鼻祖。
  • According to the old tradition,Romulus was the founder of Rome.按照古老的传说,罗穆卢斯是古罗马的建国者。
9 corporate 7olzl     
adj.共同的,全体的;公司的,企业的
参考例句:
  • This is our corporate responsibility.这是我们共同的责任。
  • His corporate's life will be as short as a rabbit's tail.他的公司的寿命是兔子尾巴长不了。
10 bucks a391832ce78ebbcfc3ed483cc6d17634     
n.雄鹿( buck的名词复数 );钱;(英国十九世纪初的)花花公子;(用于某些表达方式)责任v.(马等)猛然弓背跃起( buck的第三人称单数 );抵制;猛然震荡;马等尥起后蹄跳跃
参考例句:
  • They cost ten bucks. 这些值十元钱。
  • They are hunting for bucks. 他们正在猎雄兔。 来自《简明英汉词典》
11 overhaul yKGxy     
v./n.大修,仔细检查
参考例句:
  • Master Worker Wang is responsible for the overhaul of this grinder.王师傅主修这台磨床。
  • It is generally appreciated that the rail network needs a complete overhaul.众所周知,铁路系统需要大检修。
12 accurately oJHyf     
adv.准确地,精确地
参考例句:
  • It is hard to hit the ball accurately.准确地击中球很难。
  • Now scientists can forecast the weather accurately.现在科学家们能准确地预报天气。
13 brat asPzx     
n.孩子;顽童
参考例句:
  • He's a spoilt brat.他是一个被宠坏了的调皮孩子。
  • The brat sicked his dog on the passer-by.那个顽童纵狗去咬过路人。
14 stunningly PhtzDU     
ad.令人目瞪口呆地;惊人地
参考例句:
  • The cooks, seamstresses and other small investors are stunningly vulnerable to reversals. 那些厨师、裁缝及其他的小投资者非常容易受到股市逆转的影响。
  • The production cost of this huge passenger liner is stunningly high. 这艘船城造价之高令人惊叹。
15 criteria vafyC     
n.标准
参考例句:
  • The main criterion is value for money.主要的标准是钱要用得划算。
  • There are strict criteria for inclusion in the competition.参赛的标准很严格。
16 awesome CyCzdV     
adj.令人惊叹的,难得吓人的,很好的
参考例句:
  • The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
  • That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.
17 literally 28Wzv     
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实
参考例句:
  • He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
  • Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候,她不走到真正要昏厥了,决不肯坐下来。

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