《柯南脱口秀》第188期:一丝幽默感

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The other day I was at the pharmacy¹ and I'm there that shadow falls over the back of me and I turned around, 那天我在药店里 我在那里 我身后出现一个人影 我转过身去

and I looked up,and there's a huge guy that has buck² wheat hair. 抬头望去 看见一个大块头 有荞麦色的头发

You kind of roll the dice³ when you do this,hoping somebody's going to have a sense of humor. 你这样做是孤注一掷 指望别人有那么一丝幽默感

But I looked up at him and I said,I used to have hair like that. 但我抬起头来 说 我以前也有这种头发

and he looks at me and he goes,Oh,my God,it's the gangster⁴. 他看着我 然后说 天啊 是那个恶棍

And he's standing⁵ with two people and he went,you think I'm a gangster,this is the gangster. 他跟两个人站在一起 他说 你们觉得我是恶棍 他才是恶棍

And he said,you must give me a big love hug.There's British accent that goes along with. 他说 你必须给我一个大大的拥抱 他是用英国腔说的

And he hugs me and puts me inside of him,and I'm thinking,he's going to smother⁶ me to death. 他拥抱了我 把我拥入怀中 我想着 他要闷死我了

And I said so.I said,you're going to smother me.And you know,thank god he smelled good.But 我说出来了 我说你要把我闷死了 谢天谢地 他挺香的 但是

Cuddled in there for a while.You know,a few months ago,you were involved in an international incident.Why don't you explain what happened? 他就拥抱了一会儿 几个月前 你被卷入了一起国际事件 你解释下发生了什么事吧

Well,the president of Pakistan puts out an arrest warrant for a man from the CIA named Jonathan Banks. 巴基斯坦总统发布了逮捕令 要逮捕一个中情局名叫乔纳森·班克斯的人

And he had sent drones into Pakistan,so now there's an arrest warrant out for him. 他派无人机去了巴基斯坦 所以有他的逮捕令

Press TV,which is the only,to my knowledge,only english-speaking television station in Tehran runs this story. 据我所知 Press Tv是唯一一家在伊朗德黑兰报道此事的英语电视台

With the explosion and drones going up in the air and the whole thing. 包括爆炸 无人机飞起来什么的

we're searching or we want to arrest this guy,Jonathan Banks.Jonathan Banks. 我们在进行搜查 我们想逮捕乔纳森·班克斯 乔纳森·班克斯

 

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