《柯南脱口秀》第208期:井子游戏

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North Korea has ordered people with the same name as Kim Jong-un to change their names. 朝鲜要求 与金正恩重名的人改名

Yes.If you have his name,you have to change your name. 没错 如果你与他重名 你得改名

And to avoid even more confusion,you're deporting¹ all Chubby² lesbians with bad hair cuts. 为了避免更多混淆 他们要驱逐所有发型糟糕的胖女同出境

Dr Nancy Snyderman,the NBC news medical correspondent,who you remember was exposed to Ebola and broke quarantine,has returned to work,yeah,yeah. 南茜·施耐德曼博士 NBC新闻的医疗记者 大家知道她接触到了埃博拉病毒 随后脱离了隔离 她已经回去工作了

And the really good news is nobody's going to be messing with her food in the break room fridge. 更好的消息是 没人会去动她放在休息室冰箱里的食物了

That's my yogurt.It's ok.Go right ahead. 那是我的酸奶 好勒 归你 请吧

What else is going on?The dog whisperer Cesar Millan tweeted he's alive despite reports he had died.yes. 还有什么 狗语者凯撒·米兰发推特称自己还活着 尽管有报告说他死了 没错

Or maybe right before he died he trained his dog to tweet. 或者 是他死前 他教会了狗狗发推特

Put hamburger through mail slot³. 从信件投递口把汉堡放进来

Scientists say they found the oldest known engraving⁴ in human history from half a million years ago. 科学家称他们发现了50万年前的人类最早的雕刻

Yeah.It was a ticktacktoe game and Larry king won.True story.Thank you. 没错 那是个井子游戏 拉里·金赢了 真的 谢谢

 

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