推荐阅读－怎样培养一个自信的孩子

（单词翻译:单击）

It's a tougher time to be growing up, and the data confirms it. Bullying¹ is fiercer. Peer pressure is tougher. Of course we can't always be there to pick up the pieces or help our kids stand up for themselves, nor should we. After all, the more our children see us as their rescuers, the more they learn to rely on us to solve their problems. The secret is help our kids learn how to be more assertive² and speak up for themselves.

Here are several ways to help your child learn to be respectfully assertive.

1．Model assertiveness³.  Be the model you want your child to copy. Don't be meek(adj.温顺的). Stand up for your views even if they may not be unpopular.
2. Be a democratic household. Hold debates. Use family meetings. Listen to each child (it doesn't mean you agree with them). When kids know their opinions count they are more likely to speak out and feel comfortable doing it.
3. Acknowledge your child's assertiveness. Let your child know you value people who speak their mind. Reinforce your child's assertiveness. "I like how you spoke⁴ up!" Reinforce those behaviors in your child and let her know you honor her opinions.
4. Find less domineering friends. If your child is a bit more timid and always hangs around a bossy(adj.专横的) playmate, provide him the opportunity to find a less domineering pal(n.[口]伙伴) so he will be more likely to speak up and gain confidence.
5．Role-play assertive posture⁵, assertive phrases and a firm-sounding tone until your child has the confidence to hold his own without you. And when he does, congratulate yourself. You will have taught your child a critical skill that he will need to use in every arena⁶ of his life but now and forever.

      有数据证实，养育孩子长大成人是一件更艰难的事情。威胁恐吓只会让孩子反应更激烈。同龄人的压力更棘手。当然，我们不能，也不应该总是在孩子身边帮他们收拾残局，也不能帮助他们自我保护。毕竟他们越把我们当作他们的救星，他们越学会依赖我们去帮他们解决问题。秘诀在于我们要帮助孩子学会如何更加自信，学会自我保护。
      下面有几种方法帮助你的孩子变得自信。

1. 给孩子做自信的榜样。你想要你的孩子模仿什么榜样，那么你就成为那样的榜样。不要顺从孩子。坚持你自己的看法，即使孩子不认同你。
2. 营造民主的家庭气氛。举行家庭辩论赛。召开家庭会议。听听每一位孩子的意见，（当然这并不意味着你要赞同他们的观点）。当孩子发现他们的意见得到你们的重视时，他们更愿意表达自己的观点，而且他们会觉得很自然。
3. 认可孩子的自信。让你的孩子认识到，你重视那些表达自己想法的人。强化孩子的自信意识，比如说“我喜欢你刚才那样大声说话！”经常鼓励你的孩子，强化这种做法，让她知道你重视她的意见。
4. 帮孩子找一些不那么霸道的朋友。如果你的孩子有点腼腆，而且经常和一些霸道的朋友呆在一起，找个机会让你的孩子找一些不那么霸道的朋友，那样他就会发言，增加自信。
5．通过角色扮演来练习孩子自信的姿势，自信的表达，有力的语调，直到他有信心可以自己来展现。而当他确实可以的时候，你应该暗自高兴，因为你已经教会了你的孩子一项重要的技能，这项技能将会在他生活的每一个方面使他受用终身。

来源：口语陪练网论坛