本篇是修改后的学生例文
红色是学生的原本，也就是去掉的内容，
绿色是改后的
Many old buildings are protected by the law because they are part of a nation’s history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
Currently, in ourthe commercial society, a host of structures/buildingserections are in the process of construction (OR being erected1 to keep pace with the needs of rapid economic growth. In the meanwhile, some people with opposing viewsopposites assert that old buildings, which are of high historical value, should be conserved2. This notion can hold water, from my perspective, but in the mainstream3 we should continue new constructions in terms of the long-term interests of humans (use homosapiens when talking scientifically)Homo sapience4.
Obviously, there are numerous profits brought by benefits from the modern buildings. In the first place, by and large, a population explosion and scarce land resources are tough issues that individuals are confronted with.(“that confront individuals” sounds better)
These,
(sentence too long) which can be addressed by high-rise buildings, because high-rise buildings that (a shorter sentence construction sounds better) make use ofcould apply land resources more effectively than old buildings. As a result, they it can offer more spacious5 rooms to enormous numbers of people. Moreover, the design of modern buildings isare wiser? more wisable. New ecological6 technologies have been introduced into the architectural designses, which are conductive to maintaining the ecological equilibrium7. Solar powered buildingsproof, for instance, could utilize8 the finite and pure solar power sufficiently9 efficiently10.
Start a new paragraph. This is a new idea (not a benefit from modern buildings) What’s more, the expense of erection is far less than the repair costfare of old buildings. SBecause some old buildings, damaged by diverse adverse11 circumstances, would need not only grants but also hundredsmillions of experts to involved in the repair work.
In spite of this, the virtues12 of old buildings are not denied. At the very least, they represent the prosperous ancestryol civilizations of a nation. In addition, from digging and researching, experts, such as archaeologists, could figure out the first-hand invaluable13 data first-hand, some of which could be drawn14 (incorporated sounds better) into the current architectural designses.
To conclude, even though old buildings possess the precious historical value, individuals should be well-advisedsuggested to build up convenient, environmentally -friendly offices and houses to keep pace with the contemporary development.
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