2009-02-04&02-06 福克斯red eye脱口秀周年版

（单词翻译）

So “Red Eye” viewer Beth Navarra wrote to me yesterday, saying “God, did I ever hate your show when it first came out. But it’s like smoking. It makes you sick at first, but then you are hooked." You are my cigarette.

Well, thanks, Beth. Can I say to you that you are my cigarette too. In fact, all “Red Eye” viewers are my cigarettes for they offer me a measure of pleasure in a sometimes difficult world and they give me cancer. But I am especially touched because Beth wrote to me now on our two-year anniversary. True, it’s been two years since “Red Eye” aired its first crappy episode and it was crappy. See when “Red Eye” started, Beth was right to hate it because despite its hidden charms, it was a horror show. Andy, Bill and myself had no idea what we were doing. I came from publishing and I hired Bill simply because he had photos of me. Worse, I found Andy through comments he left on my blogs. I mean, you have to admit that’s kind of stupid. But even though we were incompetent¹ and scared, we showed up everyday, did the job. We listened and we learned, screwed up and succeeded. But thanks to people like Beth, who gave the show a second chance. “Red Eye” was able to grow like a deadly toe fungus², offering you the kind of unbridled truth, disguised in silly pleasure that you only find in prison. But as simple as that concept sounds, “Red Eye” is tough to describe. It is intentionally³ stupid but secretly smart, a strategy designed to confuse bitter liberals, media hacks⁴ and angry activists⁵. We gauged⁶ our success on turning groups into sputtering⁷ messes whether it be GLAAD, Media Matters or whether armpit-sniffing blogs. I call this strategy the “Dean Wormer Effect”, named after the hapless dude from Animal House. For so long in movies and TV，non-liberals were always portrayed⁸ as stiff joyless type like Dean Wormer, the stereotype⁹ went unquestioned. But it was totally dishonest. My goal of “Red Eye” was to reverse it and to turn the so-called edgy¹⁰ lefties into Dean Wormers, because that’s really what they are. P.C. crybabies determined¹¹ to stamp out all of the fun in the world. In short, jackasses. And it worked. As you close in on our 500th show, we now have more viewers than ever and an awesome¹² arsenal¹³ of great guests. The show continues to expand and thanks to the folks of FOXNEWS, it is our hope that we continue to grow. If anything just to keep Bill off the streets and me off the meth. But just remember like Beth says: Becoming a “Red Eye” fan takes three stages: first revulsion, then confusion, finally, obsession¹⁴. No, there is a fourth stage which involves fans sending me nude¹⁵ pictures, but I’ll go into that aspect at a later date. And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.