从朋友圈走到爱情圈 有得必有失

　　According to the Daily Mail of September 16, every time we start a relationship we jettison² two of our closest friends, a research made by scientists at Oxford³ University showed.

　　Most of us simply don't have enough time for intimate friendships with more than four or five people. And a new love interest leads to two friends being pushed out of the inner circle.

　　Professor Robin⁴ Dunbar, one of UK's leading experts in evolutionary⁵ biology, explained: "If you go into a romantic relationship, it actually costs you two friends in that inner core of relationships. Instead of having the typical five friends, they only have four in that inner circle. And bearing in mind that one of those is the new person that has come into your life, it means you have to give up two others."

　　Men tend to have four or five intimate friends, women five or six, he said.

　　However, men were just as likely to jettison friends at the start of a new romantic attachment⁶ as women, found the study of those aged⁷ 18 to 60.

　　"Your attention is so wholly focused on the romantic partner, you just don't get to see the other folks you had a lot to do with before," the professor told the British Science Festival in Birmingham, "Those relationships start to deteriorate⁸."

　　But it's not just romance that can push out close friends, children or buying a dog can have the same effect， he explained, "You can only have five slots for deeply intense and meaningful relations. Those individuals don't have to be human. They can be your dog or your favourite chrysanthemum⁹ plant. They can be people in an entirely¹⁰ fictional¹¹ world - they can be soap opera characters. They can be God or they can be saints."

　　你是不是发现自己被陷入恋情的朋友无情地“抛弃”?如果是这样，不用苦恼啦，因为你很可能不是唯一一位受到此等冷遇的人。

　　据《每日邮报》9月16日报道，牛津大学的科学家进行的调查报告显示，人们开始一段恋情的时候，他们就会冷落两个自己最亲密的朋友。

　　大部分的人都没有足够的时间与超过4、5个人同时保持亲密联系。而一段新恋情的开始就会导致他们两个亲密的朋友被排挤出曾经的“亲密友人圈”。

　　英国著名的进化生物学专家之一罗宾?邓巴解释说：“如果人们开始一段浪漫的爱情，实际上就会”失去“两位最亲密的朋友。因为人们没有时间和精力维持典型‘五位朋友’的交际模式，亲密小圈子里也就只有4位朋友，而且不要忘了还有一个是刚刚进入你生活的恋人，这就意味着你必须放弃其他两位朋友。”

　　他说，男性一般有四到五个亲密朋友，而女性一般有五个或六个亲密朋友。

　　但是，这份调查访问了年龄在18到60岁之间的人，显示在一段新的罗曼蒂克式的爱情开始之初，男性和女性一样，都会冷落朋友。

　　教授在伯明翰举行的英国科学节上说，“人们的注意力都会集中转向到恋爱同伴身上，从而无暇顾及以前经常相处的其他伙伴，所以他们的友谊关系开始逐渐走向恶化。

　　他又解释到，并非只有谈恋爱才能影响到和亲密朋友的关系，小孩或者一只狗都会起到相同的影响作用。他说：“人们一般只能同时拥有五段亲密且有意义的关系。存在这些关系的对象不一定是人类，可以是宠物狗或着自己最爱的菊类植物，也有可能是完全来自虚幻世界的人物、偶像剧中的人物、上帝或者圣人。”

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