5 Reasons to Go Through Life Lazy, Drunken, and Stupid

By those standards it’s been a success. But more importantly, I’ve learned a lot. Namely, after 266 posts on the subjects of self improvement, motivation, and productivity, I can say without a doubt that life is completely and utterly¹ pointless.

That’s right. PickTheBrain is throwing in the towel. If you need me I’ll be embracing hedonism, sloshing around in my own vomit², and doing absolutely nothing to further myself or the human race.

Why? The top 5 reasons are as follows:

You’re going to die. No big shock here, but do you realize how many people fail to grasp the consequences of this? Even if you live some awesome³ life, make a ton of cash, and go down as the great person ever, all your accomplishments⁴ will eventually go to some undeserving brats⁵ and people will exploit your words and ideas to further their own selfish ends. 

Working is hard. I mean really hard. And it just never seems to end. It’s just one thing after another. More more more. If there’s no way to win life, what’s the point of trying? 

Most people are terrible, the others are faking. The more good I’ve tried to do, the more people jump up to insult me. And it works. That stuff really hurts. I’d rather be on the dishing end of trollish insults. 

Vice⁶ is nice. Really, it feels great. Have some pain? Take this. Feel guilty? Drink that. Indulging is the one act that has never let me down. It always delivers. That’s more than I can say for the law of attraction. 

Civilization is doomed⁷. The human race has been around what, a million years or so? And this is where we are? It seems like the only developments have been new ways torture, enslave, and incessantly⁸ bicker⁹ with each other. Let’s hope that giant meteor headed for earth doesn’t get deflected¹⁰ by the sun’s gravitational field

Wow, I feel a lot better now. Or maybe it’s the liter of Jack¹¹ Daniels I used to wash down a Wendy’s Baconator.

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