[08:11.08]Howard,listen to me. Howard 听我说
[08:12.48]- Hang on. Call waiting. No,don't,don't.! - 等等 有来电 - 不 不要接 不要接!
[08:16.08]hello. 你好
[08:15.48]Howard,I'm sick. Howard 我生病了
[08:23.80]Howard's sleeping. This is his mother! Howard在睡觉 我是他妈妈!
[08:33.12]I need soup. 我要喝汤
[08:41.96]- It was sheldon. - I tried to stop you. - 是Sheldon打来的 - 我试着阻止你的
[08:41.84]It's my own fault. 我的过失
[08:44.96]I forgot the protocol we put in place after the great ear infection of '06. 我忘了06年那次"耳朵感染"时 我们用的代号是什么了
[08:47.56]You call koothrappali. 你通知koothrappali
[08:49.24]We need to find a place to lay low for the next 18 to 24 hours. 我们得找个地方躲18-24小时
[08:54.04]Stand by. 等一下
[09:02.88]That's a negatory. 不行
[09:02.96]But there's a planet of the apes marathon at the nuart today. Nuart剧院今天有<决战猩球>的马拉松式放映
[09:07.16]Five movies,two hours apiece. 5部电影 2小时一部
[09:09.44]it's a start. 只是道开胃菜
[09:16.32]Homeless,crazy guy at table 18. 无家可归的疯子在18号桌
[09:22.72]no,just crazy. 不 只是个疯子
[09:29.76]I'm sick. Thank you very much. 我生病了 真是太感谢你了
[09:34.32]How could you have gotten if from me? I'm not sick. 我怎么可能传染给你? 我又没生病
[09:34.00]You're a carrier. 你是个病毒携带者
[09:36.88]All these people here are doomed. 这里的所有人都会感染
[09:44.08]I want soup. 我要喝汤
[09:56.64]Penny,I have an iq of 187. Penny 我有187的智商
[10:01.56]Don't you imagine that if there were a way for me to have had soup at home, 如果我家里有汤喝
[10:07.56]You can have soup delivered. 你可以叫外卖
[10:12.32]I did not think of that. 我没有想到这个
[10:14.36]Clelely,febrile delirium is setting in. 很明显 发烧已经开始导致精神错乱
[10:18.44]Please bring me some soup while I still understand what a spoon is for. 请在我还能辨认调羹的用处之前 给我上道汤
[10:27.80]with little frankfurter slices and these homemade croutons. 配点法兰克福香肠片和自制的烤面包片
[10:30.84]We have chicken,tortilla and potato leek. 我们有鸡汤 玉米汤 罗宋汤
[10:35.32]Could I get any of those with little frankfurter slices and homemade croutons? 能给我任意一种配有法兰克福香肠片 和自制的烤面包片的汤吗?
[10:38.72]No. 不行
[10:41.76]Then surprise me. 那给点惊喜我吧!
[10:52.60]would you call that "moss green" or "forest green"? 你们称这种颜色是"苔绿"还是"森林绿"?
[11:10.36]Look at this. Everyone went chimp. 瞧瞧 每个人都进化成了黑猩猩
[11:12.76]I'd like to point out that I voted for orangutan, but you shouted me down. 我得指出 我说了扮猩猩的 可你却对我大吼大叫
[11:23.20]- Oh,hi,penny. - Hey,where are you? - 嗨 Penny - 嗨 你在哪儿?
[11:25.04]I'm,uh,at work. 我 呃...在工作
[11:27.76]You sound funny. 你声音很滑稽
[11:29.20]Look. I'm,uh,in a radiation suit. 我穿着辐射服
[11:34.64]Yeah,I'm at work,too,and you'll never guess who's here infecting my entire station. 我也在工作 你绝对猜不到 谁在这儿传染我整个餐厅
[11:40.40]Sheldon's at the cheesecake factory. Sheldon在"酪饼餐厅"
[11:41.56]Just tell him to go home. 你就叫他回家
[11:44.60]He won't leave. 他不会走的
[11:45.84]He says he's afraid he'll pass out on the bus, and someone will harvest his organs. 他说他担心在公车上死掉 会有人收割他的器官
[11:50.88]He's paranoid,and he's established a nest. 他有妄想症 他都筑好巢了
[11:54.44]Uh,yeah,I'd be,I'd be happy to,penny. 好的 我...我很乐意 Penny
[11:59.28]oh,my god,there's a breach in the radiation unit! 天啊 辐射服上有道裂口
[12:04.24]the whole city is in jeopardy! 整座城市都陷入危险了!
[12:04.60]Oh,my god! The containment vessel's melting. 哦 上帝! 核反应堆安全壳在熔化
[12:08.28]Gotta go. Bye! 我得挂了 拜!
[12:13.44]I feel really guilty. 我觉得很内疚
[12:15.52]You did what you had to do. 你做了你该做的
[12:18.68]Take your stinking paws off my popcorn, you damn dirty ape! 你的臭手爪别碰我的爆米花 你这个该死的臭猿人
[12:26.44]Thanks for bringing me home. 谢谢你送我回家
[12:28.64]That's okay. 不客气
[12:29.56]I didn't really need to work today. 反正我今天不是非得要上班
[12:31.16]It's not like I have rent or car payments or anything. 我又不是要急着付房租或是买车什么的
[12:32.20]Good,good. 好的 很好
[12:36.40]Okay,well,you feel better. 好了 看来你感觉好多了
[12:39.00]Wait. 等等
[12:41.64]Where are you going? 你去哪儿?
[12:42.04]Um. home. to write some bad checks. 呃 回家 开些糟糕的支票
[12:47.40]You're going to leave me? 你要弃我而去?
[12:48.12]Hey,sheldon,you are a grown man. 嘿 Sheldon 你已经是成年人了
[12:51.64]Haven't you ever been sick before? 你以前就没生病过?
[12:53.48]Of course,but not by myself. 当然 但没有就我一个人
[12:54.100]Really? Never? 真的吗? 从没有过?
[12:56.00]Well,once,when I was 15 and spending the summer at the heidelberg institute in germany. 就一次 那时我15岁 在德国海德尔堡学院过暑假
[13:04.32]Studying abroad? 出国留学?
[13:04.28]No. Visiting professor. 不是 当客座教授
[13:08.12]Anyway,the local cuisine was a little more sausage-based than I'm used to, 总之 当地的烹饪风格比我习惯中 更依赖于香肠
[13:13.48]and the result was an internal blitzkrieg, 导致我体内遭到突袭
[13:16.32]with my lower intestine playing the part of czechoslovakia. 而我的下肠道扮演的就是捷克斯洛伐克
[13:19.40]And there was no one there to te caca of you? 那儿就没有一个人照顾你?
[13:22.40]No. 没有
[13:21.68]My mom had to fly back to texas to help my dad, 我妈得飞回德州帮我爸爸
[13:24.84]because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again. 因为房子的炉渣砖又掉下来了
[13:30.84]Again? 又?
[13:31.12]It was tornado season. 当时是飓风季
[13:32.44]And it was an aluminum house. 而且是铝做的房子
[13:37.44]Anyway,the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any english. 总之 学校宿舍的管理员不会说英语
[13:41.40]And when i finally managed to convince her I was sick, 当我终于让她明白我生病时
[13:41.08]she said,"mochtest du eine darmspfilung? 她说"mochtest du eine darmspfilung"
[13:45.56]" What does that mean? 什么意思?
[13:48.56]Based on what happened next,I assume it means,"would you like an enema? 基于后来发生的事 我猜意思是"你需要灌肠吗?"
[13:55.24]" Okay,sweetie. I'll take care of you. 好吧 亲爱的 我来照顾你
[13:56.68]What do you need? 你需要些什么?
[13:57.24]Well,my mom used to give me sponge baths. 我妈妈常用海绵给我洗澡
[14:10.56]Okay,ground rules: No baths, and definitely no enemas. 好吧 先定好规矩 不洗澡 也绝对不灌肠
[14:13.56]Agreed. 同意
[14:19.68]here we go. 开始啦
[14:21.24]Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y goodness. 十个半小时的猿生活精华之旅
[14:27.32]* Oh. 哦
[14:26.40]Damn it,my glasses. 该死 我的眼镜呢
[14:29.40]Okay,I'm blind here,guys. Can you help me find them? 我什么都看不见 伙计们 能帮我找找吗?
[14:34.20]-Sorry. - Okay. - 抱歉 - 好吧
[14:39.36]found them. 找到了
[14:42.20]Oh,great. 哦 好极了
[14:41.80]I'm sorry. Don't you have a spare? 对不起 你没备用的吗?
[14:45.00]Yeah. At home. 有 在家里
[14:46.48]Well,if you leave now, 如果你现在走
[14:47.60]you can be back before the gorillas rip the crap out of charlton heston. 就能赶在大猩猩 把Charlton Heston撕烂之前回来
[14:49.68]Unless sheldon's there,in which case, you'll be trapped forever... 万一Sheldon在家 那样你就会被永远困住
[14:51.40]...in his whiny,hyper- neurotic snot web. 陷于他喋喋不休 超级神经质的鼻涕漩涡
[15:03.88]Hi. Penny? 嗨 Penny?
[15:04.80]Uh,I was just wondering,is sheldon still at the restaurant? 我想问Sheldon还在餐厅吗?
[15:10.24]Okay,that was very nice of you. 好的 你真是太好了
[15:12.28]Okay,I gotta go. 好了 我得挂了
[15:12.32]Got kind of a full-blown chernobyl thing here. 这儿正变成扩大的切尔诺贝利 (前苏联1986年核能大事故所在地)
[15:16.40]Gotta go. Bye. 要挂了 拜
[15:18.64]He's home. I'm screwed. 他在家 我完蛋了
[15:23.32]Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y blurriness. 十个半小时的猿生活混沌之旅
[15:27.96]How about lasik? 做激光手术怎么样?
[15:29.28]You want me to get eye surgery? 你想让我做眼部手术?
[15:30.68]Would you rather go back to the apartment and deal with sheldon, 你是愿意回公寓面对Sheldon
[15:33.24]or have a stranger carve out your corneas with a laser beam? 还是愿意让你的角膜来次陌生的 激光束开拓之旅?
[15:40.88]- Well? - I'm thinking. - 怎样? - 我正在想
[15:43.60]Okay,nice and cozy. 好的 非常舒适
[15:45.16]Okay? I'll see you later. 好吗? 我待会来看你
[15:49.16]Wait. 等等
[15:51.76]Will you please rub this on my chest? 你能帮我把这个擦在胸部吗?
[15:53.40]Oh,sheldon,can't you do that yourself? 哦 Sheldon 你不能自己擦吗?
[15:56.08]Vaporub makes my hands smell funny. 伤风膏会把我手的味道弄得怪怪的
[15:60.52]- But,sheldon. - please,please,please,please,please? - 可是 Sheldon - 求你了 求你了 求你了?
[16:09.76]I can't believe I'm doing this. 真不敢相信我竟然做这个
[16:16.28]No,no. Counterclockwise,or my chest hair mats. 不 逆时针擦 不然我的胸毛会缠一块儿的
[16:23.08]Sorry. 抱歉
[16:29.92]Can you sing "soft kitty"? 你能唱"软软凯蒂猫"吗?
[16:33.04]What? 什么?
[16:34.36]My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick. 我生病时妈妈总唱给我听
[16:35.96]- Oh,sorry,honey. I don't know it. - I'll teach you. - 抱歉 亲爱的 我不知道这歌 - 我教你
[16:41.24]Soft kitty,warm kitty,little ball of fur * 软软凯蒂 柔柔凯蒂 一团小毛球 *
[16:48.56]happy kitty,sleepy kitty,purr,purr,purr. * 快乐凯蒂 睡睡凯蒂 喵 喵 喵 *
[16:59.08]Now you. 该你了
[17:06.28]soft kitty,warm kitty. * 软软凯蒂 柔柔凯蒂 *
[17:11.40]little ball of fur * 一团小毛球 *
[17:16.56]keep rubbing. 继续擦
[17:18.48]Little ball of fur * 一团小毛球 *
[17:36.48]- what do you sese what do you see? - I can't - 你能看到什么东西? - 不能
[17:38.52]The living room appears to be empty. 客厅看来没人
[17:38.80]He must be in his bedroom. 他肯定在卧室
[17:40.48]My spare glasses are in my bedroom, on my dresser,next to my bat signal. 备用眼镜在我卧室梳妆台上 蝙蝠侠标志旁边
[17:48.28]I'm not going in there. 我不去
[17:49.92]- Raj? - No way,jose. - Raj? - 没门 Jose
[17:52.56]But I can't do it. I can't see anything. 但我做不到 我什么都看不见
[17:55.00]It's all right. 没关系
[17:54.80]Wireless minicam and bluetooth headset. 无线摄像头和蓝牙耳机
[17:57.20]We'll be your eyes. 我们就是你的双眼
[18:00.24]Fine. 好吧
[18:03.04]One more thing. 还有一件事
[18:05.64]This is a subsonic impact sensor. 这是一个次音速效果的传感器
[18:07.100]If sheldon gets out of bed and starts to walk, 如果Sheldon下床并开始说话
[18:11.96]this device will register it and send a signal to the laptop. 设备会立刻记入并将信号传到电脑
[18:13.60]At that point, 那个时候
[18:14.36]based on the geography of the apartment and the ambulatory speed of a sick sheldon, 基于房间的地理情况和 病人Sheldon的流动速度
[18:17.64]you'll have seven seconds to get out, glasses or no glasses. 你将有七秒的时间离开 不管有没有眼镜
[18:21.40]Won't my footsteps set it off? 我的脚步不会触发它吗?
[18:22.72]No. You'll be on your hands and knees. 不会 你得靠爬的
[18:25.76]Now,you'll need to get the sensor as close as you can to sheldon's room. 现在 你得把传感器放到 离Sheldon尽可能近的地方
[18:29.16]Look,how do I carry it if I'm on my hands and knees? 我用手和双膝爬 那怎么带着它?
[18:37.48]Stay low. 压低点
[18:39.56]Bear lt. 前进
[18:40.08]Now keep true. 保持正前方
[18:42.24]- What? - It means "go straight. - 什么? - 意思是"笔直走"
[18:43.40]" Then just say,"go straight. 那就直接说"笔直走"
[18:46.48]" You don't say,"go straight." When you're giving bearings,you say,"keep true. 当你指引方向时 你不说"笔直走" 而要说"保持正前方"
[18:51.72]" All right. 好吧
[18:57.40]I just hit my head. 我刚撞到头了
[18:58.80]Because you didn't keep true. 因为你没有保持正前方
[19:04.04]Okay,turn right. 好吧 向右转
[19:06.56]The,the picture's breaking up. 图像在晃
[19:09.28]Angle your head to the right. 头的角度转向右方
[19:12.12]Now,a little more. 再向右
[19:13.76]Little more. 再向右点
[19:16.20]That's it. Now,just keep true. 好了 保持正前方
[19:19.48]All right,you're close enough to sheldon's room. Deploy the sensor. 好了 你离Sheldon房间够近了 部署好传感器
[19:25.08]Now,turn it on. 把它打开
[19:26.64]- It wasn't on? - No. - 它没打开? - 没有
[19:31.28]Then why did I have to crawl? 那我干嘛要爬?
[19:32.72]No, I guess you didn'T. 哦 我想你不用
[19:39.16]- Okay,it's on. - Good. - 好吧 打开了 - 很好
[19:39.56]From this point forward, you will have to crawl. 从现在起 你必须要爬了
[19:46.32]I know. 我知道
[19:51.16]hang on. 等等
[19:51.12]The sensor's picking up something. Turn your head back. 传感器捕捉到什么东西了 回头
[19:59.04]You rat bastard. 你个混蛋
[20:02.00]Told you the sensor would work. 告诉过你传感器有用的
[20:06.88]Hi. 嗨
[20:09.64]You deliberately stuck me with sheldon. 你故意把我和Sheldon锁在一起
[20:11.72]Come on,I had to. You see what he's like? 拜托 我不得已 你看见他什么样了?
[20:12.92]Penny? Penny?
[20:14.04]Penny,I'm hungry. Penny 我饿了
[20:16.36]- Uh,it's okay,sweetie. Good news! Leonard's home! - Nooo! - 好 亲爱的 好消息! Leonard回来了! - 不!
[20:19.32]- Here you go. Good luck. Bye. - Oh, Wait,wait. - 交给你了 祝你好运 拜 - 哦 等等
[20:22.16]- Leonard! I'm hungry! - Wait. - Leonard! 我饿了! - 等等
[20:25.12]penny,take me with you! penny 带我一起走!
[20:32.08]leonard? Leonard?
[20:37.64]I want grilled cheese. 我想要烤干酪
[20:56.08]Do you think penny will come here and take care of us? 你觉得Penny会过来照顾我们吗?
[20:60.08]I don't think penny's ever coming here again. 我认为Penny再也不会来这儿了
[21:06.36]I'm very congested. 我尿急
[21:10.80]Yeah? So? 那又怎样?
[21:11.64]Could you go to the kitchen and get me the turkey baster labeled "mucous"? 你能去厨房把标有"黏液"的 火鸡涂油管子给我吗?
[21:19.08]If I stand,I'll vomit. 要是我站着 我就去吐
[21:24.72]Under the sink,in a tupper ware bowl. 在水槽下面的塔伯牌陶瓷碗里
