苦逼松鼠借酒消愁 发酒疯被扔出酒吧

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　　我们在酒吧里都会变得疯疯癫癫的。

　　An English squirrel broke into a Worcestershire pub, causing more than $400 in damages after going on a drunken tirade¹, the Western Daily Press reports.

　　据《西方日报》报导，一只英格兰松鼠闯进了一间伍斯特郡小酒馆，喝得烂醉，造成了超过400美元的损失。

　　Sam Boulter, the 62-year-old owner of the Honeybourne Railyway Club, walked in Sunday night to see the rodent² ransacking³ the place. Beer and smashed glass bottles littered the floor, according to the BBC.

　　62岁的山姆·布尔特是哈尼伯恩铁路俱乐部的老板，星期天晚上他走进俱乐部，看到了这只成功扫荡完毕的松鼠。根据BBC的报导，俱乐部里满地都是啤酒和碎玻璃瓶。

　　"There were bottles scattered⁴ around, money scattered around and he had obviously run across the bar's pumps and managed to turn on the Caffrey's tap," Boulter told Western Daily Press. "He must have flung himself on the handle and drank some as he was staggering around all over the place and moving a bit slowly."

　　“瓶子碎了一地，钱撒得到处都是，他肯定是找到了啤酒泵，还打开了啤酒的龙头，” 布尔特告诉《西方日报》。“他当时摇摇晃晃地到处跑，跑得还有点慢。他一定是使劲撞开了把手喝了点啤酒。”

　　The squirrel, who refused to leave the premises⁵ or pay for damages, was eventually ejected from the establishment through a window.

　　松鼠既不肯离开俱乐部，又不赔偿损失，最终被从窗口扔了出去。

　　"It's safe to say he is now barred from the club for life," Boulter told the paper.

　　“可以说，他现在已经被终生禁止进入俱乐部了，”布尔特对《西方日报》说。

　　A close friend of the squirrel (and totally real source) told HuffPost Weird⁶ that his buddy⁷ was on a bender, having recently gone through a divorce and forced to take out a second tree mortgage. His kids never call, but still come by once in a while to take his acorns⁸.

　　这只松鼠的好朋友（可靠消息来源）告诉《赫芬顿邮报》：松鼠最近离婚了，还被迫要用第二棵树抵押贷款，所以在酒精中放纵自己。他的孩子从来不打电话回家，不过还是会偶尔回家拿点橡子。

　　The peanut packing plant he worked at shut down, and the only way for him to cope with his own miserable⁹ existence has been to drown his sorrows in booze, according to the source.

　　消息来源透露，松鼠工作的花生包装工厂倒闭了，他应付这悲催人生的方法就只有借酒消愁了。

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