比自夸更可恶的他夸

　　近日，“谦虚的自夸”(humblebrag)一词的创造者哈里斯?维特尔斯(Harris Wittels)英年早逝，年仅30岁。为了纪念他，我把一些最符合这种表面上看不出来的自夸方式——假装不是自夸的自夸——的例子筛选了一番，并挑选出两个我最喜欢的例子。

　　My second best is Stephen Fry’s tweet from 2013: “Oh dear. Don’t know what to do at the airport. Huge crowd, but I’ll miss my plane if I stop and do photos?.?.?.?oh dear don’t want to disappoint.”

　　我挑选出的次佳例子是斯蒂芬?弗莱(Stephen Fry)2013年发的一条推文：“噢天哪。我现在在在机场不知道该怎么办。粉丝太多了，但如果我停下来和他们合影的话，我会错过航班的……噢天啊，真不想让他们失望。”

　　But my runaway⁵ first choice is from Oprah Winfrey. “OMG! Just had a SURPRISE date with Jackie Jackson. My teen idol⁷ heartthrob. Tried not to talk too much or eat too much. Succeeded at neither!”

　　但我认为最佳例子毫无疑问来自奥普拉?温弗里(Oprah Winfrey)。“噢我的天啊！刚和杰基?杰克逊(Jackie Jackson)结束了一次意外约会。我年少时的梦中情人。我一直尽力让自己不要话太多或者暴露出吃货的一面。结果都没做到！”

　　比自夸更可恶的他夸

　　As Wittels put it: “Oprah, you don’t gotta brag¹. You’re Oprah.”

　　正如维特尔斯所说：“奥普拉，你用不着自夸。你可是奥普拉啊。”

　　However, there is another sort of boasting that needs exposing even more than the humblebrag as it is more widespread and more lethal⁸. For want of a snappier name, I’m calling it the thirdpartybrag: when you pass on favourable⁹ remarks made about you by someone else.

　　不过，还有另一种形式的自夸甚至应该比“谦虚的自夸”更需要被揭露，因为这种自夸更普遍且更具杀伤力。因为想不出更俏皮的名字，我就叫它“他夸”好了(thirdpartybrag)：即传播别人对你的赞扬。

　　The rampant¹⁰ popularity of this sort of bragging¹¹ is for three reasons: it involves minimal¹² queasiness¹³ as you don’t have to make the boast yourself; it sounds almost objective; and Twitter makes it a doddle. It is as easy as hitting the retweet button and, far from looking crass¹⁴, it has the further beauty of seeming almost good manners, as a retweet is a self-serving sort of thank you.

　　这种自夸方式之所以如此受欢迎，原因有三点：它所引起的反感度最小，因为你不需要自吹自擂；听起来差不多是客观的；Twitter使之实践起来易如反掌。这种自夸做起来十分简单，只要点击“转发”按钮，不仅看起来一点也不愚蠢，而且还几乎显得挺有礼貌，因为转发本身就是一种说“谢谢”的方式。

　　A particularly prolific¹⁵ thirdpartybragger is the British scientist Richard Dawkins, who engages in the practice several times a day. During the time I have been writing these paragraphs he has failed to resist the urge to retweet the following from @jamiesaboyname: “Such an amazing experience last night, to be in the presence of two of the worlds most beautiful minds @RichardDawkins @LKrauss1”.

　　英国科学家理查德?道金斯(Richard Dawkins)是一位格外高产的“他夸”践行者，他每天都要实践数次。就在我写到这里时，他没能抵抗住这样做的冲动，转发了@jamiesaboyname的如下评论：“昨晚面对面见到了世上最具才智之人中的二位——理查德?道金斯(@RichardDawkins)和@LKrauss1，真是令人难忘的经历”。

　　Channelling Wittels, I want to shout: Richard Dawkins, you don’t gotta brag. You’re Richard Dawkins.

　　借用维特尔斯的话，我想大喊道：理查德?道金斯，你用不着自夸。你可是理查德?道金斯啊。

　　I have become so allergic¹⁶ to thirdpartybragging that I am unfollowing everyone who engages in it. So it is farewell Dawkins. It’s also farewell Jack⁶ Welch, who one might have thought didn’t gotta brag either. He recently retweeted the following from @SPPresents “@jack_welch Just wanted to say THANK YOU for selecting me to narrate¹⁷ your new book Real Life MBA. It’s well written, funny, and engaging!”

　　我现在对“他夸”非常敏感，取关了所有这样自夸的人。所以，拜拜了道金斯，拜拜了杰克?韦尔奇(Jack Welch)。韦尔奇也是一个人们或许会觉得没必要自夸的人。他最近转发了@SPPresents的如下评论：“杰克?韦尔奇(@jack_welch)，只是想说‘谢谢你’选择让我来朗读你的新书《现实生活中的MBA》(Real Life MBA)。这本书写得很好，既有趣又引人入胜。”

　　Various colleagues have also been removed from my following list, though there are two who are getting a second chance. In one case, the thirdpartybragging was done by the man’s wife; the other retweeted comments about himself that were insulting rather than complimentary¹⁸. Even though this is merely a thirdpartybrag with a bit of humblebrag thrown in, I’m forgiving him as the insult — that his column was “ludicrous bilge” — was quite funny.

　　许多同事也被我从关注列表中移除了，不过我给了两个人第二次机会。其中一个人，他转的夸奖来自他的妻子；另一个人转发了的评论是批评，而非赞美自己的话。尽管这“批评”不过是掺杂着些许“谦虚自夸”意味的“他夸”，但我还是原谅了他，因为这条评论——把他的专栏称为“荒唐的废话”——很有意思。

　　The popularity of thirdpartybragging raises the question: why do people demean themselves in this way? Partly it is because such retweeting administers a stroke to the ego¹⁹.

　　“他夸”的普遍流行引发了一个问题：人们为什么要这样降低自己的格调？部分原因是这种转发满足了自尊心。

　　However, stroking egos²⁰ is not what the internet is there for: it is what mothers are for instead. When mine was alive I would ring her up every time anyone said anything nice about me and hold forth²¹ at some length. From the other end of the phone would invariably come pleased noises.

　　然而，要满足自尊心，我们不应找互联网，而应该找妈妈。我妈妈在世的时候，每次有人夸我时，我都会给她打电话详细转述。而电话那头的妈妈，必定会开心得大喊大叫。

　　To follow someone on Twitter is not at all like being their mother. When the historian Simon Sebag Montefiore retweets “@SimonMontefiore J’lem one of the best books I’ve read. Can’t wait for your next tome!” I don’t make pleased noises; I make vomit²² ones and hit unfollow.

　　在Twitter上关注某人，决不是要表现地像他们的妈妈一样。当历史学家西蒙?塞巴格?蒙蒂菲奥里(Simon Sebag Montefiore)转发“西蒙?蒙蒂菲奥里(@SimonMontefiore)，《耶路撒冷》(Jerusalem)是我读过最棒的著作之一。等不及要看你下一部大作！”时，我没有开心得大喊大叫，而是大喊恶心，随后点击取关。

　　A bigger reason for the thirdpartybrag is not to feed egos, but to flog books, talks and so on. But can something so blatant²³ really work?

　　“他夸”之所以流行，更主要的原因不在于满足自尊心，而是为了推销书籍、讲座等。但如此赤裸裸的推销真的能奏效吗？

　　The depressing answer is that it seems to. Seth Godin, a marketing²⁴ pundit²⁵, has just devoted²⁶ an entire blog post to reproducing gush²⁷ from a third party. I fear I am the only person who responded badly — 876 people liked the boast post so much they retweeted it.

　　令人沮丧的是，答案是似乎真的可以。营销大师塞思?戈丁(Seth Godin)不久前刚用一整篇博文记录来自别人的恭维之词。恐怕我是唯一感到反感的人——有876人非常喜欢这篇自夸贴，以至于转发了它。

　　Thirdpartybragging shows followers²⁸ as brainless and perpetrators shameless. In the case of Mr Godin, who is both in marketing and from America — where there is a more robust²⁹ attitude to boasting in general — it may make sense. But what about Mr Dawkins? Has thirdpartybragging damaged the scientist’s considerable brain?

　　“他夸”显示出粉丝无脑，这种行为的实施者也没有节操。戈丁来自营销界和美国——总体来说对自吹自擂之风态度更为包容的地方，他搞这一套或许还说得通。但道金斯呢？“他夸”难道也损坏了这位科学家聪明的大脑吗？

　　To find out last week I composed a tweet that went roughly: “Didn’t realise @richarddawkins invented the meme. He’s even more of a god than I thought he was.” I sat back and waited for him to retweet, but several days passed and nothing happened. I feel better about Mr Dawkins as a result. But now I am vaguely³⁰ offended. Didn’t he like my message, or something?

　　为了找出答案，不久前我发了一条推文，内容大致如下：“没想到是理查德?道金斯(@richarddawkins)发明了“摹因”(meme)一词。他甚至比我之前认为的更牛。”接着我就往椅背上一靠，等待他转发，但很多天过去了，什么都没发生。因此，我对道金斯的看法有所好转。但现在我有了一种模糊的被冒犯的感觉。他是不喜欢我的评论还是怎么着？

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