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And the award for best original screenplay goes to Keith Michaels for Paradise Displays!

It's tragic¹ how much I'm enjoying, huh, I get it.

I'm a little bit desperate. I can't pay my bills. 

There's something. You have to hear me out.

You thought of me for a teaching job? ___________1___________ by desperate fagots...

Keith?

If it pays, I'll take it.

I don't believe that anything worth knowing can be taught. I intend to do as little as possible while carrying on with this charade².

Hello, Flo, welcome to the screen writing class.

Rosa, Maya.

You're good looking guy, Dave. Get your ass³ out of screen writing class.

I'm Holly⁴ Carpenter. 

What do you teach, Holly?

I'm a sophomore⁵.

No, that's good. That's wonderful going back to school at your....

Height? 

Yes, exactly!

Well, I thought that's what you meant.

I just have a question.

I would exepect no less.

If you don't believe writing can be taught, what are we going to be doing in the class?

So...

The truth is I'm gonna be writing a movie about a teacher.

Who's gonna be in it?

I'm not at liberty to discuss that, you know, Matt hasn't committed yet...

Matt Damon?! Oh, my God!

You arrived on campus. ______2_______, insulted members of the faculty⁶

You don't like Jane Austen? - I'm just a little bit tired of female empowerment.

You just missed your class for a month. And that class bears a _________3___________.

Not the men.

Well, I'm glad you thought it through.

You're trying to feel a spiritual vacancy⁷ with alcohol and young women?

Yes.

Oh, yeah!

That's what you hoped for, isn't it?

To find some smart, funny woman full of fire and honesty.

I find myself missing you. It's quite possible that if I stayed away a few more hours I'd have just completely get over that, but, now, we'll never know.

Stay out of trouble. 

Yeah, yeah, I will do. And just one other thing. Tell him if Matt wants a meeting, he's gonna have to come here.

Matt? Who is Matt?

Because you know, there's always Ryan.

Gosling or Reynolds?

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