见信如晤Letters Live 第3期:'抖森'读信:未与你共度一切(下)

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　　但是你却无能为力——至少我不行，上帝知道我尝试过了。

　　I don't want any ex-boyfriends sitting in church when I marry you.

　　当我迎娶你的时候，我可不想有任何一位男朋友坐在教堂里面。

　　On our wedding day I want nothing but happiness, both for you and me, and I know I won't be happy if there is a church full of your ex-conquests.

　　在我们结婚的那天，我只希望你我都幸福，但是我知道，如果教堂里都是你的前任，我是不会高兴的。

　　When I marry you I will have no past, only a future: I don't want to drag my past into our future and I don't want you to do it, either.

　　当我娶你的时候，我们就忘掉过去，只看到未来：我不想我的过去介入我们的未来，我同样不希望你的过去介入。

　　Remember I am jealous of you because I love you.

　　记住，我嫉妒你，是因为我爱你。

　　You are never jealous of something you don't care about.

　　你不会嫉妒任何你不关心的事。

　　O.K. enough about jealousy¹.

　　好了，关于嫉妒就到这里。

　　Now let me tell you something.

　　现在我要告诉你一些事情。

　　I have seen a thousand sunsets and sunrises, on land where it floods forest and mountains with honey coloured light,

　　我看过无数次日出日落，在大地上，森林和群山都被笼罩在光芒之中，

　　at sea where it rises and sets like a blood orange in a multicoloured nest of cloud, slipping in and out of the vast ocean.

　　在大海上，为五彩的云朵增添上一抹血橘色，在无垠的大海上划进划出。

　　I have seen a thousand moons: harvest moons like gold coins, winter moons as white as ice chips, new moons like baby swans' feathers.

　　我看过无数次月亮：满月如金币，寒月洁白似冰屑，新月宛如小天鹅的羽毛。

　　I have seen seas as smooth as if painted, coloured like shot silk or blue as a kingfisher or transparent² as glass or black and crumpled³ with foam⁴, moving ponderously⁵ and murderously.

　　我看过大海平静如止，颜色如缎，或蓝如翠鸟，或如玻璃般透明，抑或如乌黑褶皱的泡沫，沉重而危险的翻动着。

　　I have felt winds straight from the South Pole, bleak⁶ and wailing⁷ like a lost child; winds as tender and warm as a lover's breath;

　　我感受过来自南极的烈风，寒冷呼啸着像一个走失的儿童；感受过如爱人呼吸般的柔风；

　　winds that carried the astringent⁸ smell of salt and the death of seaweeds; winds that carried the moist rich smell of a forest floor, the smell of a million flowers.

　　掺杂着苦涩的咸味和海草死亡气息的海风；弥散着森林大地肥沃土壤气息和千万种花香的山风。

　　Fierce winds that churned and moved the sea like yeast⁹, or winds that made the waters lap at the shore like a kitten.

　　狂风涛海如同酵母发酵起沫，或使海水轻拍海岸像小猫一般。

　　I have known silence: the cold, earthy silence at the bottom of a newly dug well; the implacable stony¹⁰ silence of a deep cave;

　　我了解宁静：一口新井中寒冷又朴实的宁静；一个深洞中无情冷酷的宁静；

　　the hot, drugged midday silence when everything is hypnotised and stilled into silence by the eye of the sun; the silence when great music ends.

　　炎热迷离的午后万物被炎炎烈日催眠的宁静；一曲美妙音乐结束的宁静。

　　I have heard summer cicadas cry so that the sound seems stitched into your bones.

　　我听过夏日蝉鸣如芒在骨。

　　I have heard tree frogs in an orchestration as complicated as Bach singing in a forest lit by a million emerald fireflies.

　　我听过树蛙在无数萤火虫点亮的森林中演奏着如巴赫管弦乐般美妙复杂的旋律。

　　I have heard the Keas calling over grey glaciers¹¹ that groaned¹² to themselves like old people as they inched their way to the sea.

　　我听过啄羊鹦鹉飞跃冰川叫喊着，像老人呻吟着走向大海。

　　I have heard the hoarse¹³ street vendor¹⁴ cries of the mating Fur seals as they sang to their sleek¹⁵ golden wives,

　　我听过声嘶力竭的街道商贩成交皮草生意的叫嚷，好像是对他们鎏金妻子的赞美；

　　the crisp staccato admonishment¹⁶ of the Rattlesnake, the cobweb squeak¹⁷ of the Bat and the belling roar of the Red deer knee-deep in purple heather.

　　响尾蛇清脆却不连贯的警告声；成群结队的蝙蝠的刺耳叫声；马鹿在齐膝的紫石楠中的咆哮。

　　I have heard Wolves baying at a winter's moon, Red howlers making the forest vibrate with their roaring cries.

　　我听过狼群在冬夜对月长嚎，红吼候啸震山林。

　　I have heard the squeak, purr and grunt¹⁸ of a hundred multi-coloured reef fishes.

　　我听过珊瑚群中异彩斑斓的鱼群发出的吱吱、呱呱和呢喃。

　　I have seen hummingbirds¹⁹ flashing like opals round a tree of scarlet²⁰ blooms, humming like a top.

　　我见过蜂鸟如同宝石一般围绕着开红花的树闪烁，如陀螺一般哼鸣作响。

　　I have seen flying fish, skittering like quicksilver across the blue waves, drawing silver lines on the surface with their tails.

　　我见过飞鱼如水银一般穿越蓝色海浪，用他们的尾翼在海面上划下银色痕迹。

　　I have seen Spoonbills flying home to roost like a scarlet banner across the sky.

　　我见过琵鹭像朱红的旗帜从鸟巢飞往鸟群。

　　I have seen Whales, black as tar²¹, cushioned on a cornflower blue sea, creating a Versailles of fountain with their breath.

　　我见过漆黑洳焦的鲸鱼，在如矢车菊般的蓝色海洋中停留，呼吸间创造了一个凡尔赛宫的喷泉。

　　I have watched butterflies emerge and sit, trembling, while the sun irons their wings smooth.

　　我见过阳光熨展蝴蝶的翅膀，它浮现、停顿、又扇动。

　　I have watched Tigers, like flames, mating in the long grass.

　　我见过鲜如火焰的老虎在长草之中亲昵。

　　I have been dive-bombed by an angry Raven²², black and glossy²³ as the Devil's hoof²⁴.

　　我曾被愤怒的乌鸦俯冲攻击，如魔鬼的爪牙黑暗顺滑。

　　I have lain in water warm as milk, soft as silk, while around me played a host of Dolphins.

　　我曾躺在温暖如牛奶、柔顺如丝绸的水中，任一群海豚在我身边嬉戏。

　　I have met a thousand animals and seen a thousand wonderful things …

　　我曾遇到过无数生灵，曾看过无数美景……

　　All this I did without you.

　　这一切却未与你共度。

　　This was my loss.

　　这都会是我的损失。

　　All this I want to do with you.

　　这些事情我都想与你共度。

　　This will be my gain.

　　这一切才会是我的收获。

　　All this I would gladly have forgone²⁵ for the sake of one minute of your company, for your laugh, your voice, your eyes, hair, lips, body,

　　为了有你一分钟的陪伴，我愿放弃这一切，为你的笑声，你的声音，你的眼睛，头发，嘴唇，身体，

　　and above all for your sweet, ever surprising mind which is an enchanting²⁶ quarry²⁷ in which it is my privilege to delve²⁸.

　　尤其是你善良又令人惊喜的心，那时只有我有权利开采的宝藏。

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