见信如晤Letters Live 第16期:'奥斯卡伊萨克'读信:我爱我的妻子,她去世了(1)

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　　亲爱的阿琳，

　　I adore¹ you, sweetheart.

　　我爱你，亲爱的。

　　I know how much you like to hear that—but I don't only write it because you like it—I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

　　我知道你多喜欢听到这句话。但我写这句话不是因为你喜欢，而是因为它让我全身暖暖的。

　　It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you—almost two years but I know you'll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn² and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

　　距我上次给你写信已经过去了很久，快两年了，但我知道你会原谅我的。因为你了解我是多么的固执和现实，所以我觉得写信完全没有意义。

　　But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past.

　　但现在我明白了，我一直迟迟不做的事情其实才是正确的事，而且在过去我已经做了很多。

　　I want to tell you that I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

　　我想告诉你我爱你。我想爱你。我一直爱你。

　　I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead—but I still want to comfort and take care of you—and I want you to love me and care for me.

　　我很难理解在你死后爱你有何意义，但我仍想安抚你，照顾你，我也想让你爱我，照顾我。

　　I want to have problems to discuss with you—I want to do little projects with you.

　　我想和你讨论问题，我想和你一起做课题。

　　I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do.

　　直到现在我才想到我们可以做这些，我们本该一起做的。

　　We started to learn to make clothes together—or learn Chinese—or getting a movie projector³.

　　我们开始一起学做衣服，学汉语，或者去买个电影放映机。

　　Can't I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator⁴ of all our wild adventures.

　　现在我自己不能做吗？不能，没有你我孤身一人。你是出点子的那个人，是我们所有疯狂冒险的发起者。

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