《柯南脱口秀》第178期:无限点赞能力

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You all konw tinder,right?Pretending you don't,ok. 大家都知道陌陌吧 装做不知道 好吧

The dating app tinder launched a premium¹ service with something called unlimited² liking³ capability⁴. 陌陌推出了一项白金服务 称为无限点赞能力

Unlimited liking capability. 无限点赞能力

Until now the only other product that gave you unlimited liking capablity was beer. 至此之前 唯一能让你无限点赞的东西 就是啤酒了

I made out with a lamp post once. 我有次喝大了亲灯柱

What's going on,in a recent speech,Pope Francis called money the devil's dung. 最近的一次演讲中 弗兰西斯教皇称钱为恶魔的屎

He called it the devil's dung,yeah. 说钱是恶魔的屎

By the way,the Devil's dung is also the name of the Pope's garage band. 对了 这也是教皇车库乐队的名字

They do covers.Check them out. 他们翻唱曲子呢 去看看吧

They're playing in Malibu over the weekend. 他们周末去马里布表演呢

New study just came out that says dogs have trouble remembering specific evens from their past.Dogs. 新调查表明 狗记不住他们过去的一些事 狗狗

Which makes sense because you might want to forget that you spent most of your life licking your balls. 这也有道理 换了你 也会想忘记你这辈子大都在舔蛋蛋呢

It's not something you would want to think about.Not me.That would carry me through some tough times. 这种事不堪回想啊 我不会 想想这个能支撑我度过很多艰难时刻呢

Lift you spirits.Sure.Occasionally you're sitting in the corner,ahhh.Doing good.Think about it. 会让你开心吗 是啊 你有时好会坐在角落里 感觉不错啊 正想着呢

 

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