读者文摘:搞笑趣事两则

（单词翻译）

It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning¹ the impending² loss of my hair when the barber asked, "Where are you from?"

那是在基础训练时期，我坐在理发椅上，为头发即将被剪掉而哀叹时，理发师问我：“你来自哪里？”

"St. Louis," I grumbled³."Hey, I'm from St. Louis too!" he said.

我喃喃地说，“圣路易斯。”“我也来自圣路易斯！”他说。

He then asked conspiratorially⁴, "Do you want to keep your sideburns?" I perked⁵ up. "Sure!"

然后他阴谋地问道：“你想留着鬓角吗？”我活跃起来了。“当然！”

With that, he revved⁶ up the razor, clipped off my sideburns, and gave them to me.

说着，他加快了剃刀的速度，刮掉了我的鬓角，递给了我。

As I left the barbershop with sideburns in hand, I heard him ask his next victim, "Where are you from?"

当我手捧鬓角离开理发店时，我听到他问下一个受害者：“你来自哪里？”

"Chicago." "Hey, I'm from Chicago too!"

“芝加哥。”“嘿，我也来自芝加哥！”

During KP duty, my sergeant⁷ ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that night's dinner.

在做帮厨值勤期间，我的中士命令我为那天晚上的晚餐准备100加仑的汤。

When I told him I had no clue how to make soup, he handed me a cook-book and instructed, "Follow the directions carefully."

当我告诉他我不知道怎么做汤的时候，他递给我一本烹饪书，并告诉我：“认真按照说明做。”

Not long after, I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came in, grabbed a spoon, and took a taste.

没过多久，我就炖了一大锅汤。警官走了进来，抓起一把勺子，尝了一口。

"This is really good," he said. "Are you sure you followed the recipe?"

“这真的很好喝，”他说。“你确定你按照食谱做了吗？”