有趣的男性英语和女性英语

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron¹!

You're so manly² = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive³ tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs⁴.

This kitchen is so inconvenient⁵ = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt⁶ fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? =　Too late, you're dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

The same old thing = Nothing.

Nothing = Everything.

Everything = My PMS is acting⁷ up.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

2、男“性“英语
摘要：不光女性有自己独特的表达方式，男人同样也有自己独特的表达方式，相比女性而言，男人的语言更加直接，更加生理，更加下半身。

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired　= I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage⁸ = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma⁹ are you going through now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now.

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep.

person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.