读者文摘:糟糕的建议合集(2)

（单词翻译）

COME UP SHORT. "It's the thought that counts."

徒劳无功。“想法最重要。”

LIGHT UP. As a rookie fireman, I was advised by the older firemen to start smoking.

点烟。作为一名新消防队员，老消防队员建议我开始吸烟。

They said it would help acclimate¹ my lungs to the smoke in a building fire.

他们说这能让我的肺适应大楼火灾的烟雾。

TRY A NEW COLOR. "You would look great with black hair," a friend told me. "Let's dye it."

尝试一种新的颜色。一个朋友告诉我：“你要是有黑头发就好了。”“我们去染发吧。”

He did, and I didn't. Worse, although the color was supposed to wash out, it didn't.

他染了，我没有。更糟的是，尽管颜色应该是能洗掉的，但是洗不掉了。

Instead, it turned blue. Dark blue, almost navy blue.

相反，它变成了蓝色。深蓝色，几乎是海军蓝。

Since this was years before punk and dyed hair, I was horrified². Although, who knows, maybe I started a trend.

因为那是在朋克和染发之前的年代，我被吓坏了。但是，谁知道呢，也许我开创了一种潮流。

SELL NOW. In 1984, my sister's husband worked for GTE servicing small relay stations around Redmond, Washington.

现在出售。1984年，我姐姐的丈夫在华盛顿雷德蒙附近的服务小型中继站的GTE工作。

He suggested we buy stock in a company that was one of his clients.

他建议我们买他的一个客户的公司的股票。

So I bought 200 shares, as did my mom. We watched the stock go up to around $31 a share, and then drop again.

所以我买了200股，我妈妈也买了。我们看到股票上涨到每股31美元左右，然后又下跌了。

Then it would go back up and drop again.

然后它又再次上升和下降。

My old accounting³ professor told the class that if we had a stock that performed that way,

我以前的会计教授告诉班上的同学，如果我们有一只股票的表现是这样的，

it probably would never go higher and we should dump it.

它可能永远不会升得更高，我们应该卖掉它。

So that's why Mom and I sold our stock in Microsoft at under $31 a share.

这就是为什么我和妈妈以每股不到31美元的价格卖掉了我们在微软的股票。

I never look at what it is today because I don't want to be sick.

我再也不看它现在的价格了，因为我不想生病。

FLY GENTLY. As my brother left to pilot B-17s in World War II, our worried mother told him to "fly low and slow."

在第二次世界大战中，我哥哥离开家去驾驶B-17轰炸机时，我们忧心忡忡的母亲告诉他要“飞低点，飞慢点”。

Terrible advice for a pilot leaving for war.

对于一名即将奔赴战场的飞行员来说，这是个糟糕的建议。

BE A GODFATHER. "Be a Michael, not a Sonny."

做一个教父。“做一个迈克尔，而不是桑尼。”

My mom gives me this advice every time I want to confront someone. How about I probably shouldn't behave like any member of the Mafia?!

每次我想要面对别人的时候，我妈妈都会给我这个建议。我不要像黑手党的成员那样行事怎么样？！

CHARGE IT. "Just open another credit card; it's free money."

充电。“再办一张信用卡吧；它是免费的钱。”

That gem⁴ came from my friend, who is thousands of dollars in debt and has no idea she will eventually have to pay that off.

这个真知来自我的朋友，她负债数千美元，不知道自己最终需要还清债务。

Trying to instill a life lesson in our energetic young son,

试图给我们精力充沛的小儿子灌输生活经验，

I called out as he ran by, "When you are running with scissors, point them down!"

当他跑过的时候，我叫道:“当你拿着剪刀跑的时候，尖端朝下！”

His dad rejoined, "Or just don't run with scissors."

他的爸爸反驳道：“要不就是别拿着剪刀跑。”