死亡约会 Part I Chapter 6（2）

（单词翻译）

Before her marriage my mother — she’s my

stepmother really—was a wardress in a prison. My father was the Governor and he married her.

Well, it’s been like that ever since. She’s gone on being a wardress—to us. That’s why our life isjust—being in prison!’

Her head jerked round again.

‘They’ve missed me. I—I must go.’

Sarah caught her by the arm as she was darting¹ off.

‘One minute. We must meet again and talk.’

‘I can’t. I shan’t be able to.’

‘Yes, you can.’ She spoke² authoritatively³. ‘Come to my room after you go to bed. It’s 319.

Don’t forget, 319.’

She released her hold. Carol ran off after her family.

Sarah stood staring after her. She awoke from her thoughts to find Dr Gerard by her side.

‘Good morning, Miss King. So you’ve been talking to Miss Carol Boynton?’

‘Yes, we had the most extraordinary conversation. Let me tell you.’

She repeated the substance of her conversation with the girl. Gerard pounced⁴ on one point.

‘Wardress in a prison, was she, that old hippopotamus⁵? That is significant, perhaps.’

Sarah said:

‘You mean that that is the cause of her tyranny? It is the habit of her former profession.’

Gerard shook his head.

‘No, that is approaching it from the wrong angle. There is some deep underlying⁶ compulsion.

She does not love tyranny because she has been a wardress. Let us rather say that she became awardress because she loved tyranny. In my theory it was a secret desire for power over otherhuman beings that led her to adopt that profession.’

His face was very grave.

‘There are such strange things buried down in the unconscious. A lust⁷ for power—a lust forcruelty—a savage⁸ desire to tear and rend—all the inheritance of our past racial memories…Theyare all there, Miss King, all the cruelty and savagery⁹ and lust…We shut the door on them and denythem conscious life, but sometimes—they are too strong.’

Sarah shivered. ‘I know.’

Gerard continued: ‘We see it all round us today—in political creeds¹⁰, in the conduct of nations.

A reaction from humanitarianism—from pity—from brotherly good-will. The creeds sound wellsometimes—a wise régime—a beneficent government—but imposed by force—resting on a basisof cruelty and fear. They are opening the door, these apostles of violence, they are letting up theold savagery, the old delight in cruelty for its own sake! Oh, it is difficult—Man is an animal verydelicately balanced. He has one prime necessity—to survive. To advance too quickly is as fatal asto lag behind. He must survive! He must, perhaps, retain some of the old savagery, but he must not—no definitely he must not—deify it!’

There was a pause. Then Sarah said:

‘You think old Mrs Boynton is a kind of sadist?’

‘I am almost sure of it. I think she rejoices in the infliction¹¹ of pain—mental pain, mind you, notphysical. That is very much rarer and very much more difficult to deal with. She likes to havecontrol of other human beings and she likes to make them suffer.’

‘It’s pretty beastly,’ said Sarah.