【双语有声阅读】理解嫉妒 Understanding Jealousy(下)

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Women are concerned about their partner becoming attracted to other women by sex, intelligence, and other attractions, and dissatisfaction with the current relationship.

女人担心她们的伴侣被其他女人的性感、理解力和其他特质所吸引，担心会对现在的关系不满意。

Men are more concerned about protecting their egos² if they are "beaten out" by another man; they worry about their partner having sex with someone else (but they'd probably blame the partner if that did happen).

如果男人因为竞争而筋疲力尽，他们更在意自我保护；他们担心伴侣与他人发生性关系（但是如果发生了，他们很可能会责备对方）。

It is in this deep worry and spying stage that we go crazy.

这种极度忧虑和暗中监视会让我们发疯。

Emotional reactions: If we decide there is a threat to our love, we can have a very wide range of responses: clinging dependency, anger at the competitor or the partner, morbid³ curiosity, self-criticism, and depression with suicidal thoughts, hurt and resentment⁴ of the partner's lack of devotion, social embarrassment⁵, selfish—sometimes realistic—concerns ("I'd better take the money out of the bank"), urge to "get back at" the partner, fear of losing companionship, loneliness, regrets at giving up all the future plans, etc.

情绪反应：如果我们确信爱情有威胁，我们会有一系列的反应：执着的依赖，憎恨竞争者或者伴侣，恐怖的好奇心，自我批评，有轻生的沮丧念头，厌恶对方没有投入感情，社交障碍，自私——有时候现实——忧虑（我最好把钱取出银行），报复对方的强烈愿望，害怕失去伴侣，孤独，后悔放弃未来的所有的计划，等等。

Coping response: There are two basic choices—trying to save the threatened relationship or trying to protect your sagging⁶ ego¹.

应对响应：有两个基本的选择——要么维护好受到威胁的关系，要么保护好自己的心。

Men are more likely to become competitive or angry, often including getting drunk.

男人更可能会更有竞争意识或者生气，常会一醉方休。

Women more often become weak and depressed⁷.

女人通常会变得脆弱和失望。

After an affair, men want sexual details and women want to know how serious the relationship is.

在遭遇背叛之后，男人想知道和性有关的细节，女人想知道关系发展到什么地步了。

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